Day 85: True Positivity (Part Two)

Here I will start applying the Self Forgiveness and Corrective Statements and Commitments on the previous day writing Day 84: True Positivity.

'How many times have I given up, decided that my circumstances were more than what I could handle'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to participate in excuses to not stand up for myself and do the required work.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide that I can not handle my situation, without investigating and structuring my day and tasks in a feasible doable way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of what I can do and what I can't do without investigating what it is that I can do and how is it best that I do it for maximum effectiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to do things instead of organizing myself practically and do stuff step by step.

Whenever I see that I make up excuses within myself to not take responsibility for myself and my world - I stop and I breathe - I realize in self honesty that I can investigate and then do what is relevant because if I 'give up' all I do then is entertain myself so, instead, I can invest the time in doing what is relevant. I commit myself to whenever I see I put excuses to not do what is relevant, stop myself and redirect myself to utilize the time to do what is important, seeing practically what I can do so that I am effective in taking responsibility for all of myself.

'I realize in looking at my situation that I have been given everything and i have given so little. Education, money, support -- all is in vain -- it is not what one has been given but what one does with it.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the support I have been given and that is available to me, starting from myself and my talents and habilities and also all the support that I can get and am getting from my world - to which I have to honor equally within the principle of giving and recieving.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to equalize myself in utilizing the support that I am given so that I am in turn I am able to also give equally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to utilize the opportunities that I have in terms of my position in this world so that I can have a positive effect within the principle of doing that which is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to be able to walk within the Principle of doing that which is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself and others' support for granted, instead of utilizing it to support myself and support others eventually/as I am able to.

Whenever I see that I am not utilizing what is available of support for myself - I stop and I breathe - I realize that I am in a privileged position that I should really consider in taking the opportunities available to me to stand up for myself unconditionally in seeing the responsibility that comes along with having all the support that I have, to give to all others what I already have so that All can be supported equally eventually and that
If I do not do this, I will live in shame. I commit myself to stand up for myself utilizing all that I can and have to transform myself to a better/best version of myself, for me and for All Life on Earth.

To be continued in the next post.

Day 84: True Positivity

"push yourself as far as you can go and then go beyond it--as the as far as you can go is the limit of your program --te point where you can go no more--the belief that defines you that must be eradicated" --- The Essence of Walking the Journey from Consciousness to Life by Bernard Poolman

How many times have I given up, decided that my circumstances were more than what I could handle. Yet I realize in looking at my situation that I have been given everything and i have given so little. Education, money, support -- all is in vain -- it is not what one has been given but what one does with it. And there will be many excuses and experiences, like a heaviness that comes up as I am writing this, that tries to drag me to inaction and then I see: It is this negativity of not putting all that I have on stake to do what it relevant. I have nothing to lose. As of late I have had this experience of anxiety of wanting to have a good experience a good moment/feeling, but it is a trap, because the 'best experience' of all would be to put my efforts to the joint effort of those that dare to put it all at stake to create a world that is the best possible for All Life on Earth.

Either this or the illusion of limitation of creating my 'own drama' of excuses and reasons and blame - all the while disregarding and trowing away the opportunities that do exist in my circumstances -- so after all I sould not consider myself as positive if I only look for the negatives in my world to then give up and not do my best to support myself to stand up for myself and for All. The phrase 'where there is a will there is a way' makes much sense and pushing myslef to go as far as I can go and beyond is truly a worthwile effort to take on: The true positivity.

Investigate:
Desteni
Equal Money

Day 83: Imaginary Limits

I was reading an interview where I saw a being being effective in their world, standing up for herself and while I was reading I noticed a heaviness in my lower back and legs, an increased awareness of that area and it reminded me of the paralyisis where the lower back and legs are paralised. And I can relate this to self imposed limitation that I have believed to be real, where I don't give myself the chance to stand up for myself and instead accept to let all opportunities pass - as if I can't walk/take them on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't be directive in my world at all times.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself enough to give myself the opportunity to walk what I see is that I must do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't be effective in everything I see I have to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I fear to stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to render myself useless by not standing up for myself and taking the opportunities that I have with me in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others are better than me and that I can't do what others can do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special by seemingly being unable to stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get attention from being ineffective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself attention and want others to give it to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust in my capabilities to direct and be successful in the tasks that I set myself to do.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself the time to do the tasks that I have to do - no matter what, unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to dare to do the tasks that are important/relevant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for distraction and satisfaction in order to forget that I am not standing up for myself - instead of standing up for myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing if I stand up for myself within myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realise that not standing up for myself is the failure - not not being succesful when doing it and having to repeat until I have it done.

Whenever I see that I am lagging behind my responsibilities and not standing up for myself, I stop and breathe. I realise that I have to walk until all is taken care of both within and without - and in this every breath counts.

I commit myself to stand up for myself in every breath, directing what I have to do within effectiveness and discipline.

Whenever I see that I am giving up and stranding myself, I stop and breathe. I realise that it must only be a product of the mind and thus a sickness that I am not standing up for myself - so I stop and redirect myself to stand up for myself, exploring how it is that I stopped to correct it and not allow myself to fall back/fall behind.

I commit myself to investigate all instances where I participate in apathy/isolation and where I give up, to correct it until I stand eternally.

Whenever I see that I am accepting self-limitation, I stop and breathe. I realise that I can't accept anything else than what is best, so in every moment I move to do my best and work to expand it.

I commit myslef to discipline myself to stand in every situation/moment that I face.

I commit myself to take myself and tasks one breath at a time, within patience and perseverance.

Day 82: Double Standard Stranded

Problem

I have observed that I have a double standard when it comes to working and responsibilities. One is very direct, steadfast and effective approach that I take at the internship I am doing. The other is very undiligent and ineffective which is when having to study and review or do other self-study work.


Solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be inconsistent in my approach to taking/working/doing responsibilities - instead of expanding myself by using the effective approach I take in one area to all areas/responsibilities within my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I can apply myself in an effective way in one task, I can expand this ability to other tasks in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the reason why I can direct myself to be effective in a task is due to the nature of the task instead of realizing that the same effectiveness I can apply to any task.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apply myself differently depending on what responsibility I am facing - instead of applying myself in integrity by putting the best of my habitily to all my responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the way to expand my effectiveness and hability of doing a task is by applying myself doing it to the best of my hability - because then I can see what impediments I have and work on them to be able to do more/better.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I don't apply myself in every task to the best of my hability I will never expand in effectiveness on those tasks - and this is because I know within myself that I am not giving it my all and assume that I can choose to do more if
I want -- but then the day that I really need to be effective I will find that I can do only so much, probably less than I imagined.

Whenever I see that I am avoiding walking responsibilities to the best of my hability, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am deliberately sabotaging myself by choosing to spend more time and have a less quality job made PLUS not being able to become more effective at the task that I am doing - thus I instead opt to apply myself to the best of my hability so that I can, even if it takes more time, expand and discover more of myself in what I am doing.

I commit myself to push myself to do the tasks/responsibilities to the best of my hability - so that I can know where I am and go further from there/expand on them.


Reward

To become more effective in everything I do and within this discover more about myself in it.

Next post will be on Fear of Failure.

Day 81: What's in a Task? (Part Three)

Self-Correction Statements based on the previous posts 'What's in a Task?'. Suggested to read: Part One and Part Two

Whenever I see that I am thinking about doing a task in my mind, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am sabotaging myself by making the task be 'more' in my mind than what it really is - in order to have an excuse to not do it. I understand that giving up because of thinking that that a task is too much is judging myself without giving myself the opportunity to do the task - as I can only prove to myself that I am able to do something by doing it.

Whenever I see that I am participating in impatience before doing a task, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am only able to do what I can do in one breath and while in my mind I can see a task done in a moment it does not mean that it is capable of assessing the exact detail of how it will be like to walk every step/process of doing it.

I commit myself to disregard any thoughts of 'how will it be like' to do a task and instead I put myself to do it unconditionally in common sense.

Whenever I see that I am entertaining myself with thoughts of doing a task before doing it, I stop and breathe. I realize that I can think of doing a task for however long I want but that it will never get done until I put myself to do it. I understand that it is more practical to invest the time in doing the task instead.

I commit myself to whenever I see myself thinking of doing a task, stop and put myself to work on it immediately, within the realization that it is the only way that it will get it done eventually.

Whenever I see that I am uncomfortable doing a task, I stop and breathe. I understand that I am making it harder for myself if I am thinking and preoccupied in my mind instead of sticking with the physical while doing the task.

I commit myself to whenever I find I am uncomfortable while doing a task = check what it is that I am participating in my mind and stop it by focusing on breathing, the environment that I am in and the physical actions that I am doing - unconditionally.

Whenever I see that I am judging a task as boring/dull/difficult, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am in my mind and not in fact Here as breath that give me Life, and that giving up what is real for the illusion of the judgement thought is not worth it, as I will inevitably have to go back and complete the task at a later time - so I better do it in the moment.

I commit myself to stick to doing a task until completion.

Day 80: What's in a Task? (Part Two)

Here I will apply self forgiveness on the points that I saw in the last post (Day 79: What's in a Task?), related to inflating tasks and responsibilities in my mind in order to avoid doing them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell in thoughts of me acting out actions in the future such as doing tasks and walking responsibilities without seeing/realising/understanding that thoughts are not real and they do not depict or describe in any way what will it really be to walk the talk of the thinking within my head as thoughts into action - but instead it will probably discourage me from taking action in seeing the task as more than what it really is, a sum of individual physical actions that need to be done one breath at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misguide myself by considering thoughts as important and give them my attention to carefully plan ahead what it is that I have to do - without seeing that it is a mere distraction and prevention from taking action in doing the task in fact, in the flesh Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately set aside and dismiss and not act on my realizations and insights on what it is that I have to do - thereby revoking the gift as opportunity to support myself that I have in that moment - instead of doing it and exploring what happens if I take responsibility for myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately think of all the tasks I have to do to then judge them as too much in self interest so that I don't have to actually get out of my mind and do them.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that all taks consist of different actions and that in fact I cannot do more than what I can do in one breathe. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in impatience whenever I think of a task getting done in my head before I actually do it - instead of breathing and taking on doing it step by step, breathe by breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical that is real by judging it as boring/dull/difficult instead of seeing that I can be more effective at doing tasks in the physical by aligning myself to the physical, this is = to remain Here as breathe - being physcially aware of my breathe and my surroundings and what it is that I am doing, noticing the background noise and making sure that I am comfortable within my body by breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fool myself by participating in the mind of thoughts of projections of things that I have to do without seeing, realizing and understanding the purpose of the mind of 'divide and conquer' that happen whenever I am participating in my mind jumping from one thought to the other without ever concreting and obtaining any measurable result that is real.

I'll continue with the Self Corrective Statements in the Next Post.

Art by Andrew Gable

Day 79: What's in a Task?

The power of action, of doing, this is the solution. All the insight in the world is not enough, at the end theory has to be concreted in some action, as the quote 'Knowledge without application is useless' by Bernard Poolman describes best.

The past days I've have had many occasions where I have seen what it is that I have to do in terms of responsibilities and every time I've failed to do most of what I saw. There are different traps and mechanisms to prevent from action, such as thinking of doing many things - this discourages from doing anything because Reality doesn't work like the Mind - the mind can see something done in a fraction of a second while in the real world things take time to be done, it requires a step-by-step, breath by breath physical action such as writing, cleaning or any other task that is real. Therefore, instead of thinking of doing many things, it is more useful to instead see what is the immediate next point, the next step that is required for me to do, without thinking ahead of what comes next.

Like for example, how difficult it is for me to write a line for a blog or read a line of school homework - it is not difficult, it is only difficult if I am participating in my mind about how difficult it is - lol. Because in the real world one does never 'do homework' or 'clean the house' in one moment - what one does in the real world is a sequence of physical actions that accumulate into what we can describe as 'doing homework' and 'cleaning the house' -- but it consist of many actions. So it is not to think 'I have to clean the house' and then become discouraged as seeing it as 'too big' but instead simply see that it is a sequence of actions that I have to do and 'I better get it started becuse it will take time' lol -- This is similar to the strategy of 'divide and conquer' = seeing the tasks as individual actions that are easy but that once are done, something cool or required is achieved such as having a room cleaned or delivering a school paper.

In seeing this, there are no excuses that are valid for not taking on and doing the responsibilities that I have to do in my day, because if I can do the different steps that are required to clean or do homework, I am able to start and finish doing it.

It may sound a bit ridiculous to dissect responsibilities in such small actions but I've noticed how I have done the opposite in order to avoid doing it - For example thinking of tasks as such a big thing/difficult thing to do, instead of seeing tasks for what they are, a sum of actions that are 'doable' if I am breathing and stable here, intead of going into the mind and complain and think about how big and difficult a task is - which is not in fact real, as I've explained.

The next blog I will start with doing self forgiveness on inflating tasks within my mind in order to give up before starting them and then continue with self corrective application to change it to a practical approach to walking tasks and responsibilities.

Picture Art by Carrie Tooley