These past three days or so, I've had this sense of self of
'being good' or the best lol. Yesterday I had a
check back to reality when I realised I made a very basic mistake - two
mistakes, and it is because I did not check thoroughly .
For example, checking how to read a new type of tool, I didn't look properly
and noted a number that was lower than the real reading, or forgetting stuff outside
of the fridge due to not effectively checking all the stuff I had to do - and even though I always check that the material is where it
should be at the end of the work - I did not see it this time.
I heard this interview where it's said to check reality when
we have believes about ourselves being magnificent - because even though we can
tell to ourselves that we are good/magnificent - the physical will tell us the
real story if we are self honest and look at it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
'talk myself' into believing I am good/the best.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to
not check my belief about myself of being good/the best with the feedback I get
in physical reality - and seeing within myself in self honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not check what I do so that I make sure that I am making things right.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear asking questions for simple stuff.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to be humble enough to check the basics of the tools I work with even though I
may know how they work - to make sure I do it well.
Whenever I see that I consider myself as good/magnificent/special,
I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have to become self-honest and see what
is my physical reality showing me, and walk in common sense.
I commit myself to apply myself within humbleness in not
taking for granted what I do based on the idea that I know stuff.
Whenever I see that I have inner backchat of being good/the
best, I stop and I breathe. I realize it is merely a belief illusion and not
real, therefore I stick to breath and being in my physical body, disregarding
the talk - and write it down and forgive myself when/as I can.
I commit myself to not listen to the backchat I have with me
but stop it and investigate/forgive it so that I don't delude myself into
something that I am not as ego trip/possession.
Whenever I see that I fear asking basic questions, I stop
and I breathe. I realize that a question is nothing personal, that I have to be
able to ask any question - and I realize that if asking a question is a
problem, then I have a problem that I must investigate and stop of ego. Also I should ask away, as I can widen my understanding through what others share.
I commit myself to apply myself within humbleness and ask whenever I
see that I have a doubt about stuff that I should already know/basic stuff .
