About a year ago, some of us started with a series about 'Paranoia' which you can read more about in the many JTL blogs/vlogs. In my
case I choose to do Paranoia of Failure because of my experience with Failure. I did not start at the same time and until now
I have not adressed it. Why did I not start the blogs on paranoia of failure?
The first thing that comes up as a reaction is an excuse -
that I was studying/doing exams -- but I have had many hours and days where I had the
time to write the blogs on paranoia of failure and yet I did not. If time was
not a problem, why did I not start the blogs on paranoia of failure? Because
then I would have to change. If I expose and unravel how I participate
in the point of Failure from the starting point of self-interest, then I will
have to stop it, or otherwise I will be exposed as abuser - and therefore its
'easier' to simply not investigate the point. Also, I would have to take responsibility for
myself and change. I start today.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
refuse to investigate the point of paranoia of failure, so that I don't have to
change by taking responsibility for it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
want to keep participating in the point of paranoia of failure so that I don't
have to take responsibility for myself and change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
delve in self-complacency by continuing to not take responsibility for the
point of paranoia of failure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
continue to not take responsibility for myself despite knowing what to do -
thus being deliberate.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to consider myself or others in not taking responsibility for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
continue living in self-deception by not investigating the patterns of failure
that I participate in.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I can avoid taking self-responsibility by not looking at the
points that I have created to not have to take self responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
'trap myself' by not investigating and changing and instead continuing to
participate in the points of paranoia of failure - to not have to take responsibility
for myself and change.
I commit myself to take responsibility for myself within the
point of paranoia of failure.
I commit myself to investigate the point of paranoia of
failure, and take responsibility for myself within what I find.
I commit myself to correct myself practically within the
points of paranoia of failure so that I stop my limitations and instead live in
a way that I can develop my utmost potential.
