Day 22: Failure As Excuse

 

How stupid is it to deliberately create a failure to have an excuse to give up trying and not having to complete a task/job/process? This means - at least when the faiure was produced - that from the start the intention was not to complete the task/job/process, but to fabricate a story credible to self as a justification of why I have not done that task/job/process which I deemed necessary. Too afraid to face the truth?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create a situation where I fail at a given task/job/process so that I have an excuse to give up and feel bad about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when given/faced with a job/task/process that I find challenging deliberately fail at it by performing poorly in order to have an excuse to not have to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe failing at something is enough exucuse/valid excuse to give up on that which I failed to.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that failure exists where I was not prepared for a task and that also depends on specific circumstances that can be out of my control and so it is merely an indication that I was unsufficiently prepared and/or that there are aspects that must be changed so that there are no interferences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the truth and shame of immediately giving up on a task/job/process wich I see would be supportive to myself  and create an experience where I fail so that I have an excuse to give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself by failing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such thing as an acceptable excuse.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that self honesty is the key and what has to be reviewed at all times - also when faced with excuses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prolong my process by deliberately failing at doing what I see I have to do.
 

I commit myself to stop fabricating believes to not have to face that which I resist.

I commit myself to when seeing that I am going to or am currently creating an experience of failure to have an excuse to give up on a specific task - I breathe and see and understand the utter stupidity of making such a move and waste of time that it supposes and then focus on breath to walk the task in specificity so there are less chances of failing at it.

I commit myself to stop bullshitting myself by creating situations where I fail in order to have an excuse to give up.

I commit myself to assess all excuses that I can come up with regards to anything  = in self honesty - to see them for what they are.

Day 19: Failure Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the failure character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility by giving into the failure character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the failure character to not have to take on anything that takes time and effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not taking on the tasks to support myself with the memories of failing in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my behaviour that is irresponsible and dysfunctional based on the past and take on the failure character to not have to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept bullshit from myself based on the self definition of myself as a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am entitled to irresponsibility because I have never really been responsible instead of realizing that I am giving into the failure character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up my creative power by accessing the failure character that also creates, but it creates demise for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by playing the failure character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by giving up on myself in playing the failure character, not expanding myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my time playing the failure character instead of investing it in supporting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself and play the failure character rather than daring to face who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up the fact that I am here in the physical and not bound physically by my fears and instead of acting breath by breath, give up breath by breath to the failure character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bondage myself to the failure characcter.

I commit myself to stop the illusion of the failure character and step into reality by wlaking and waking up step by step with practical solutions in every moment.

I commit myself to stop sabotaging myself by playing the failure and instead face myself in the realization that I created myslef and that it would be stupid to fear my own creation.

I commit myself to stop all justification based on the failure of the past in the realization that I have to direct myself to the best of my hability without excuses because otherwise I am only lenghtening my process and torturing myself and not talking into consideration the consequences it has on the whole in an atrocious way.

I commit myself to give up the failure character by identifying when I am accessing it and stopping it taking on practical physical movement or tasks.


I commit myself to honour myself by not playing the failure character and take myself back to the physical every time until it exists no more.