Day 126: Stability as Matter

Lately I have allowed myself to have mood swings without realising that I am Matter - and that's what matters - Stability as Matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be here as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape this reality.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to direct my reality as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate standing up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am here no matter what goes on in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that most that happens in my mind is bullshit.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realise and understand that it is not important what goes on in the mind in terms of giving it importance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myslef to believe that I am my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am my emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am my feelings.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I am more than my thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to celebrate that I am here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that no matter what, I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that no matter what goes up in my head I remain here stable.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realise and understand the stability in matter.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am mood swings.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that no matter what I am still here stable infinitely.

Day 125: Enlightenment

For quite some years I thought there is some type of enlightenment that one can experience. Now I have realized it is not real, with a simple question: How do you think your perception would change if you 'become enlightened'? 

It is this simple, a light won't shine on you or you won't be more shiny.

In other words nothing will happen other than self change. Nothing in the outer nor how you will experience the world, of course if you change yourself your outer world may change, or it may not. In any case nothing magical will happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe enlightenment exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see enlightenment is a deception

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that waiting for something external to happen is a deception and a mistake

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe something such as enlightenment exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ground myself here and see that this world is all that exists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for enlightenment to happen to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not becoming enlightened

Day 124: Jealousy

Jealousy: Feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something or someone that you want

Related to relationships when you have to let go of someone because he or she loves someone else, it's the contrary of easiness of letting go of that person you were with.

Books by Osho have been helpful to me in learning about this letting go and not going into jealousy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into jealousy whenever my partner wants to move on with someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that jealousy is poison

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to give freedom the same I would want to have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe jealousy is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see jealousy is not me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see it is easy to let go of someone you love if you really love them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my insecurities manifest jealousy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept jealousy instead of investigating where it comes from

I commit myself to let go of jealousy

I commit myself to let go of and not participate in jealousy

I commit myself to give freedom to my partner as I would like to myself

I commit myself to investigate any jealousy that might come up to see where it comes from

Day 123: Enjoy Yourself

Have you enjoyed yourself today? I have found I can enjoy what I do as well as take some time for myself to do something I enjoy, and it is fine. Something creative I enjoy, sports and more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take some time for myself daily to do something I enjoy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can take some time for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the word enjoyment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not explore what I enjoy doing in my time off

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my life too seriously

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see I can enjoy life more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to motivate myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how my life can be much more than what it is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by not doing anything I enjoy supposedly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not learn to enjoy no matter what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe others have to amuse me instead of finding something I can do to enjoy myself

I commit myself to research what I enjoy to do more of it with measure

I commit myself to take reasonable time for myself to do stuff I enjoy doing

Day 122: Energy Levels

Sometimes I believe I have no energy, sometimes I have a lot. Both sides have to be taken with a pinch of salt and realize I can do whatever no matter my believed energy level experience, mind energy that is, to be amped up or a bit low.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need energy from the mind to move

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the energy from the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am here stable when I am not in the energy of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the energy of the mind 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in mind energy without questioning where it comes from

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let energy guide my actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe when I am all caught up in mind energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see energy is not me

I commit myself to remind myself that I am not energy as mind energy

I commit myself to remind myself to breathe when I am all caught up in mind energy

Day 121: Resistance to Write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge writing as difficult and cumbersome

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe resistance to write is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be misleaded by resistance into not writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot write if I resist it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that resistance is not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I resist writing then I should write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the gift in resistances that indicate what I should do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in fact resistance has no power on my physical body capabilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist resistances

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am capable of doing anything despite resistances to do it

I commit myself to walk everything despite resistances

I commit myself to realise the gift as pointer in resistances

Day 120: Consistency is Key

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that consistency is key

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise the power of accumulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that a form of trust emerges from consistency

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when I am not consistent I am not supporting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that consistency is self-support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the enjoyment in consistency

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge consistency as boring

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear commitment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself that I can be consistent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can't be consistent

I commit myself to live the word consistency