Day 140: Sacrifice = Investment

Sacrifice is in reality an investment. Giving up something for something better. We should all consider investing in Equality for All, as it has the best ROI (return on investment) possible, ever, for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that sacrifice is needed in order to obtain anything of value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sacrifice believing that I will not get anything in return if I do sacrifice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make sure I get something in return BEFORE I make the sacrifice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that sacrifices have to be unconditional for them to work.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the fact that a sacrifice is unconditional is because results are never guaranteed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want guaranteed results.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that nothing in this life is guaranteed, except death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I understand how sacrifice works = I will not see that it is in fact a simple investment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to decide to invest in Life and Equality for all - and Equal Rights

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and undertand that the best investment there is = is Equality for All

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that sacrifice is another word for investment, they are interchangeable words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my investment for Equality will not have returns - instead of investing unconditionally - as I see it is the only possible way.

Day 139: Effort Understood

What is effort? When I dont know how to do something, it takes a process to learn it, it can take effort - and when I know how to do something, doing it can also take effort. Some things like play, lets say using a unicycle, it takes effort to learn, but if I enjoy it then it doesnt look like effort, so it all boils down on if I want to do something or if I do it because of survival for example, like a job. Changing the world will take effort, of course, but even the butterfly in its metamorphosis, that takes effort, yet it is inevitable and vital that it takes place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear effort, doing effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that everything takes effort that is worth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the effort that my physical body does every breath to keep me alive.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that it is worth it to put effort to change myself and the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that repetition as effort is needed sometimes, many times, to produce a result

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that consistency is needed in order to produce a result, which takes effort.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that consistency is key

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the domino effect is real

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that movement it is not seen in the domino effect while the pieces are being placed and only in the end you can see movement when one piece is pushed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the usefulness in the domino effect, where pieces can push other pieces up to a half bigger than them, in a geometrical progression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am in fact a piece on a domino effect-like situation

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless I push, as in a piece of the domino that is pushed - there will be no movement of the domino pieces

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless I stand for what is best for all, me and many other individuals will not stand because of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that being an example is so important because without it nothing is possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid effort, not seeing, realising and understanding that in doing that I am avoiding reward as result

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge effort as difficult

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to appreciate the effort that nature does to keep this planet alive and the effort that humans have to do that are in poverty to survive

I commit myself to make an effort in reminding myself that everyone and everything is making an effort on this Earth  -- to make an effort for what is Best for All on Earth

I commit myself to remind myself that any effort that I do - is equally done by many other parts of the Earth system and inhabitants

I commit myself to show that any effort that one does is not more or less but Equal to Lifes effort to thrive on this planet

I commit myself to remind myself that I simply have to join in the Lifes effort by doing my part

Day 138: Wich Way is The Way

Learning is the way, that is for sure, and, at some point unlearning as well, because if what I am doing is not working it means that I have to learn something new, and maybe at the same time unlearn something old - and apply.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unsuccessful through judging myself through false standards

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not celebrate my life by judging it as unsuccessful through judging it with false standards

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that money is not the only measurement of success

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change the way I see myself I will keep judging myself - thus limiting myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the opportunities that I have in my life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless I stop judging myself I will not be able to see the opportunities that are available for me, right in front of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how self judgements are self limiting/limiting my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am in a far better situation than I believe

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that beliefs about myself are also a limitation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the belief that I am not successful is not true

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I have done nothing to have x amount of money, then I will not have x amount of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have x amount of money instead of doing something to get x amount of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure for having X amount of money instead of seeing that it is impossible I have Y amount of money if I do nothing to have it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that limiting beliefs are limiting indeed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am isolated

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am free, free to change all that I dont like or want to change or improve of my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I apply common sense in my life, nothing will make sense

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do what I have proven myself to work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about others´ judgements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give importance to others judgements, opinions and sayings about me and what I do

Day 137: Less is More

NOTE: I wrote this on Dec 10, 2021, but didn't publish it, until now.

 Nine years have passed since I wrote in this blog, and I am happy to write here again. I am older and (maybe) wiser but also I might have had a different spark back in the times I was 22. I am 31 now. 

Back then I had a wish, that things would change. And things have changed, for the worse. I am talking on an existential level, here on Earth, things are getting worse. And I see that I can't do much about it other than starting with myself. This has also been the point, self first, and here I am. It's 1:26 at night and I can't go back. I can't go back to when I was 22 and coerce myself to change, it is in every moment that I have to change.

I have been obsessed with change, but what is it really? When all on the outside collapses. When there is only me left with myself in my bed at night, with unrest for what I could be doing, so much more than what I have done. 

But there - I was going to say that there is hope - but there is no hope, there must be no hope, because hope has mantained me in a way of inaction, not changing myself hoping for a better future. It doesn't work this way. 

At the moment I see myself so insignificant but it doesen't have to be this way, I have kept writing blogs on two other blogs that I have kept, astudentsjourneytolife and bipolarsjourneytolife. I skipped the students' journey to life because I thought I was no longer a student - and could do a better job at walking the bipolars journey to life. As I was saying, it doesn't have to be this way. I feel insignificant because I believe I have no relevance, and I believe I have no relevance but yet this message will reach someone so I will go to the facts:

We are fucked - and this is not a negative message. There is no way out - and this is not a negative message - but only one, to do what is Best for All. And I believed that by merely keeping alive I was doing a favour to someone - that is not true. It is not true because by merely surviving, nothing will change. It is time to create - a world that is Best for All. 

And this is what frustrates me - but why - because the world is not Best for All. Then I should start with myself - push myself to become the best version of myself. That is why I am writing now, not to cry, not to rant and rave about how fucked we are, but there is a way out, remember? Yes, no matter what I do I cannot escape from the consequences of my actions, and so everyone else - from consequence.

So in the meantime, while the world goes to shit, we are doing like Nero, singing with a small harp while the city burns down to the grown, but withdraw the R, remove the R from Nero and you get Neo - the matrix is real and the red pill is real too. Still have to change the world though - but in the meantime I will recover first from taking the red pill - which is when Neo is in a way reborn in the movie -- I am walking my 7 year journey to life to be born again in the pysical, to stop the mind.

I still remember the first time I realised I could talk in my head, to curse and say whatever I wanted, as a little child - it was precisely when my dog was put down and I was very angry, then my mind activated and voilà it was running like a perfect machine - but it can be unplugged. Check out Desteni.org and the blogs, 7 year journey to life blogs, and start your own so that you can show as proof the process you walked and where you stand, because in times of trouble no one will know = who to trust.

7 Year Jorney to Life on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife

My blogs

https://bipolarsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

https://astudentsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

Enjoy

Day 136: Superstar

The reason why I am so effective at the moment lies in what I've done for the past entire life, so since I was 17 and you can check here in this blog Day 111: Paranoia of Failure and specifically Day 112: Paranoia of Failure - Part Two " I did not "have the courage" to live out my desires/self-interest and suppressed it, but continued to not take responsibility for myself just in case 'I get to live that'. So I did not immediately go and live out the desire, but wait in hope that maybe possibly at some point in the future I can live them."

Not to say that I am any different than you, or do what I did, each has to walk from where they are.  I am the same as you as Life, as One and Equal as Life. I simply have been more close to my being from deciding to not only not go far away from my being but in fact remain very close, only separating by my addiction to Energy and not wanting to take responsibility for stepping up from there to Living my Utmost Potential, that is the part I am starting to walk now in Self-Perfected group on Facebook. Join me in my journey and understand the importance of blogging/vlogging. My Youtube channel 'What Has Blogging Done for Me'

You can also check for reference my other blog to see how I have changed: bipolarsjourneytolife.blogspot.com and my very first blog started in April 2008 iamruben.blogspot.com

Read these outloud if you dare to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  become addicted to energy.

I forgive myeself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become like a demon that feeds of energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that there is more to Life than participating in Energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if anyone can do it I choose to be the one that stands up first if no one else will

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that if the world has to change it doesn't matter who pushes the button, me or anyone else, and that if no one else does, I will.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that where am I now is a direct consequence of what I have done with my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I've been redpilled and I should really consider stepping up to the game and stand up for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand my untapped potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that hey, this is Real.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that once I say my first self forgiveness statement there is no going back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that no matter what, I will prevail.

Whenever I see I participate in any form of energy, I stop and I breathe, I earth myself as I let go of the addiction to energy.

Day 135: Perceived Failure

'Day One is Every Day' This Picture was taken when I was at Uni, and I thought that I had big plans and a britght future ahead, and I started with one dollar --- lolol Every Day, Every Breath is an opportunity to expand myself, stop looking into the future so much, have a look, yes, then back to Here. I have set my Vision, the ultimate goal, which is to Do/Live that which is best for all. As I posted in a comment on Facebook it 'Means Living my Utmost Potential and translates into then creating in myself the change I want to see in the world - to then implement it in the world. So my Vision is That which is Best for All, and transates to, in every breath, consider it in every action, so for example doing my bed in the morning, working a job to propell myself forward, studying self-perfected on facebook -- all of that is already walking my Life Purpose of the ultimate goal of creating a world that is Best for All'

Who are we to judge ourselves? To say that 'I am a failure'? Who I really am is Life, not a Failure, failure is failing to do, failing to act, yes, but not 'I am'. I have failed to act, failed to do, failed to apply, yes, many many times, many many days lost so to speak. But I am still here, this is what counts. Those who abandon the race lose the race, -- stay in! It is not a race, it is more of a long run, with steep hills, calm valleys, and rivers to drink fresh water. Be water my friend! If you judge yourself as a failure, look back and see, in fact, how much you've changed because now you are applying yourself by merely reading blogs for instance such as this one!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure for not having walked consistently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise everyone's process is different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am not my failures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that judging myself implies separation and it affects the way I can walk from Here onwards

Thus

I commit myself to stop judging myself, as it undermines my capacity to change in every moment - thus hindering my process/future.

I commit myself to remind myself that life is a Journey, with setbacks - real or perceived - and 'wins' - real or perceived? - Life IS! So I commit myself to remind myself to accept what is here, all the fuckups I've done and walk with my head straight with a vision for myself that is Best for All.

Whenever I see that I judge myself as a failure, I stop and I breathe. I realise I am Life, not a failure, I am walking towards Life -- no matter what -- and that by judging myself as a failure I am limiting my standing, stunting my process of growth - Within this I commit myself to stop myself whenever I see I judge myself as a failure.

Whenever I see that I resist doing something, I stop and I breathe. I realise 'should I do this thing, I will expand' - and then choose accordingly to Expand myself and to do the very thing I resist. SO I commit myself to do that which I resist.

Whenever I see that I have too much to do, I stop and I breathe. I realise there is only so much I can do in one breath, so I commit myself to keep it practical and prioritize that which is most supportive for myself within the realization of 'self comes first' as supporting myself is the first step in walking the principle of doing that which is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that whenever I judge myself as a failure, I have already condemned me and said 'I cannot do more' which is in fact self interest to not have to stand up for myself and change immediately, in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that uness I change, I will not change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I don't have to Compare myself with others, as I have my special set of circumstances internally and externally that have led me to where I am now, with my own acceptance and allowance so:

I commit myself to remind myself that I am Where I Am now because of my own acceptance and allowance, but it is not to judge myself for it but rather see - that by not accepting and allowing myself to participate in how I did in the past And through walking within principle of what is Best for All - I will change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that everyone's process is specific -- so I am walking a particular point that is of Equal Value as any other being in process that is walking their Particular Point.

Enjoy!

Day 134: Perceived Evil Shit as Hostage Taking

There are some point or points that I can use to not have to stand up for myself, it is simple, look for something that I jutge as Evil, do it, then don't forgive myself for it. The result is that I have effectively taken myself Hostage by myself. Brilliant. Today I relieve myself from my Perceived Evil Shit. So that I may never again play hostage taking with myself and stand up for myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in Perceived Evil Shit so that I have something to not forgive myself for to not have to stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by participating in PES.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in Perceived Evil Shit as self extortion/hostage taking of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I will have to forgive myself for everything so I better not fuck around with hostage taking games.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have an excuse as to why I won't or can't stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe participating in PES is a valid excuse to not stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disturb myself deliberately by participating in PES

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that games like PES are valid to not have to take responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that by participating in PES I will be harming myself ultimately

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe playing with PES is acceptable to abandon myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon myself from participating in PES as self extortion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide my participation in PES 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my PES is evil and judge it as evil

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that participating in PES will stunt my process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as evil from participating in PES

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of participating in PES

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear from participating in PES as to what if it is known

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself into submission

I commit myself to support myself

I commit myself to remind myself to not sabotage myself

When and as I am tempted to participate PES, I stop and I breathe. I realize I will have to stand up for myself no matter what, so I better do my best to not sabotage myself.