May 2, 2012

Day 12: Energy


I have experienced how the starting point of energy in doing the blogs, energy that I experienced as competition, dropped. In not having more energy from the mind-competition then the question of who I am emerges as I have the opportunity to continue without energy and walk or give up. Giving up is only an illusion because I have to inevitably face myself - and so I can chose to continue living in the illusion of energy and giving up or walk reality - to walk the blogs no matter what from self-directive starting point instead of energy motivated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write the blogs from the starting point of competition and wanting to arrive to the goal instead of remaining here as breath without participating in energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the experience of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need the experience of energy and rushing to be able to move myself to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to move only within energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that giving up is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am does not consist of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don't have the experience of energy I cannot move myself to get things done.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by motivating myself through energy to do blogs I am limiting myself because I am subjecting my self-movement to energy that is not sustainable and runs-out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move only if I have the experience of energy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how limitied I allow myself to be and become when I only move through energy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to move within the starting point of myself as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the experience of energy is real and use it as self-gratification to 'feel good'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the feeling of feeling good in participation of energy from the mind is not real and that it is a polarity and not stable and that it cannot last.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop the illusion of energy and walk within common sense .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up self direction for energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the consequences of giving up self direction for energy.

I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard myself in giving up to energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can 'run out' of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I only need breath to move myself and that the believe that I need some experience to move myself is false.

I commit myself to move myself within breath without subjecting myself to energy experience in order to get things done.

I commit myself to push trough the 'energy drops' that I may experience in the realization that I do not consist of energy.

I commit myself to prove to myself that I am not energy through walking through what I have to do in common sense disregarding all apathy and other experience of rejection and resistance.

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