Today has been quite a 'ride' because I have both passed the
course of Environmental Chemistry that I have been doing the past few years and also have decided to start
at university Agricultural Engineering. This is some self-forgiveness on jumpiness/overexcitement - lol - and more.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
forget to breathe when I give or receive 'good news'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
want to obtain recognition for having passed at my studies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
risk not passing at my studies by studying at the last moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that because I have passed, somehow I have won.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
become obsessed with the point of having passed, instead of seeing that it is
merely an opportunity to keep walking.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear that I rejoice/indulge too much in the experience of having passed that I
forget to apply myself effectively in continuing my studies at university.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear that I go into 'shock' somehow and forget to direct myself effectively in
my reality now that I have passed at my studies.
Whenever I see that I am not here as breath when
communicating with others, I stop and I breathe. I realize that my point of
stability is within breathing.
I commit myself to remain within self-stability by applying
myself within breathing.
Whenever I see that I want recongizion from others, I stop
and I breathe. I realize that I can give to myself recognition, so I
investigate where it is that I don't recognize myself.
I commit myself to investigate the instances where I want to
obtain recognition form others, to give to myself that which I place out there,
outside of myself.
Whenever I see that I participate in procrastination within
my studies, I stop and I breathe. I realize that procrastination will lead to
consequence, therefore I stop and direct myself in common sense.
Whenever I see that I am participating in 'positive' energy,
I stop and I breathe. I realize that positive experiences as energy are a
polarity of negative. Both are not real.
I commit myself to breathe through the positive experiences,
and investigate them in writing to ground myself so that I don't fool myself
within energy delusions.
Whenever I see that I become obsessed about the past of
having passed, I stop and I breathe. I realize that the past is gone, both for
what was a 'good experience' and what was a 'bad experience' according to me -
and thus only have what is here to work with. Within this, I commit myself to
remain here as breath, directing myself within physical stability in common
sense and practicality.
Whenever I see that I fear over-rejoicing for having
passed at my studies, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is cool to
celebrate, although I must keep walking within common sense, to not
unnecessarily distract myself from what is here to do in every moment to live
effectively.
I commit myself to consider in every moment what it is that
I am participating in, to make sure that I am grounded here as physical breathe
and not somewhere up there in my mind as energy - then I don't have to fear,
because I make sure that I am Here with me in this physical reality.
Whenever I see that I fear that I go into shock for having
passed at my studies, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is my responsibility
to remain Here as breath in every moment, that this will assist me greatly, so
I apply myself within it and see that I am Here.
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