NOTE: I wrote this on Dec 10, 2021, but didn't publish it, until now.
Nine years have passed since I wrote in this blog, and I am happy to write here again. I am older and (maybe) wiser but also I might have had a different spark back in the times I was 22. I am 31 now.
Back then I had a wish, that things would change. And things have changed, for the worse. I am talking on an existential level, here on Earth, things are getting worse. And I see that I can't do much about it other than starting with myself. This has also been the point, self first, and here I am. It's 1:26 at night and I can't go back. I can't go back to when I was 22 and coerce myself to change, it is in every moment that I have to change.
I have been obsessed with change, but what is it really? When all on the outside collapses. When there is only me left with myself in my bed at night, with unrest for what I could be doing, so much more than what I have done.
But there - I was going to say that there is hope - but there is no hope, there must be no hope, because hope has mantained me in a way of inaction, not changing myself hoping for a better future. It doesn't work this way.
At the moment I see myself so insignificant but it doesen't have to be this way, I have kept writing blogs on two other blogs that I have kept, astudentsjourneytolife and bipolarsjourneytolife. I skipped the students' journey to life because I thought I was no longer a student - and could do a better job at walking the bipolars journey to life. As I was saying, it doesn't have to be this way. I feel insignificant because I believe I have no relevance, and I believe I have no relevance but yet this message will reach someone so I will go to the facts:
We are fucked - and this is not a negative message. There is no way out - and this is not a negative message - but only one, to do what is Best for All. And I believed that by merely keeping alive I was doing a favour to someone - that is not true. It is not true because by merely surviving, nothing will change. It is time to create - a world that is Best for All.
And this is what frustrates me - but why - because the world is not Best for All. Then I should start with myself - push myself to become the best version of myself. That is why I am writing now, not to cry, not to rant and rave about how fucked we are, but there is a way out, remember? Yes, no matter what I do I cannot escape from the consequences of my actions, and so everyone else - from consequence.
So in the meantime, while the world goes to shit, we are doing like Nero, singing with a small harp while the city burns down to the grown, but withdraw the R, remove the R from Nero and you get Neo - the matrix is real and the red pill is real too. Still have to change the world though - but in the meantime I will recover first from taking the red pill - which is when Neo is in a way reborn in the movie -- I am walking my 7 year journey to life to be born again in the pysical, to stop the mind.
I still remember the first time I realised I could talk in my head, to curse and say whatever I wanted, as a little child - it was precisely when my dog was put down and I was very angry, then my mind activated and voilà it was running like a perfect machine - but it can be unplugged. Check out Desteni.org and the blogs, 7 year journey to life blogs, and start your own so that you can show as proof the process you walked and where you stand, because in times of trouble no one will know = who to trust.
7 Year Jorney to Life on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife
My blogs
https://bipolarsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/
https://astudentsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/
Enjoy
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