Clearly at the moment I am faced with the postponement character, where I refuse or give up to take on the tasks that I see I have to do. This is a good time to clear up this point. Today I experienced myself both angry and unmotivated. This anger must come from seeing how I put myself down in participating in the postponement character and the unmotivation is also a self-manipulation, where I utilize that experience with the character of postponement to justify why I don't put myself to work on, for example, writing this blogs.
Self Forgiveness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize the experience of 'unmotivation' as an excuse to not do what I have to do as tasks.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need something special to start doing the tasks I have to do instead of realizing that I won't necessarily get a 'good feelng' out of doing what I have to do but that must do it as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the character of postponement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up taking on the tasks I have to do in the face of apathy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make doing the tasks I have to do something special that requires special circumstances and a certain feeling that I have to experience in order for me to get to do it instead of realizing that to do something I only need to actually do it myself, with no other conditions that the physical requirements to do it such as laptop and being fed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotion of anger instead of identifying where does it come from and take action to deal with what it is indicating.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that immediate action is a good way to take on the tasks I have to do and that any other way is also postponement - as somehow I can do it but delay the start of it, thus there is something preventing me from starting thus:
I commit myself to stop and investigate the moment I see that I could be doing a task that I have to do but I am not doing it despite that moment being one moment in where/when I am able to do it.
I commit myself to stop the character of postponement by deliberately stopping myself when I see I am going into it.
I commit myself to put into practical application what I see I have to do.
I commit myself to stop waiting for a special moment to start doing the tasks I have to do and instead realize that each moment is the same when I am breathing and thus every breath is a moment to start and do any task that I require to do.
I commit myself to not take from granted my experience but investigate everything that goes on with myself.
