September 1, 2012

Day 25: Hiding from Myself in Sleep

'Hiding from Depression in Sleep' by T.M. Vogsland

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately try to hide from myself in sleeping during the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses like being tired for sleeping during the day without placing an alarm to limit the amount I sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am directed by an experience of energy heaviness when I want to go to sleep during the day - and that most of the times
the tiredness is not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the experience of heaviness and go to sleep instead of breathing through it - or at least set an alarm if I need to have a rest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize sleeping to not have to take responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is possible to not take responsibility for myself - not seeing that by sleeping I am only compounding and manifesting consequence for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize sleeping as a 'coping mechanism' to not have to face what is here as what I see I have to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse sleeping as a way of not taking responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the inevitability that I have to face myself and that the time that I have and the opportunities I have are limited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the opportunity I have as time by sleeping during the day/oversleeping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself by oversleeping.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the phyisical requeriments of
my body in terms of sleeping are limited and the rest of the time I spend in bed I spend in my mind mostly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by oversleeping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mislead myself into using the practical act of sleeping  to hide from my self-responsibilities.

I commit mysel to utilize the act of sleeping in a practical way by spending the necessary amount of time that the body requires and nothing more.

I commit myself to remind myself that I do not require extra time of sleeping during the day and that

I can simply breathe through the desire of going to sleep.

I commit myself to not allow myself to oversleep as I see that it is self-sabotaging myself.

I commit myself to investigate why it is that I want to give up during the day and go to sleep and take on the reason for this immediately instead of going into reaction and going to sleep.

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