Day 150: The Buddha Said

The title is from a book by Osho. He never wrote a book, he simply talked and recorded that into audios.

I was listening to a song, the lyrics said 'tell me what to do' and it remided me of myself, when I thought that some other person might know better tham me, for example a brother slightly oder, like if that difference made a - well - difference

I don't know if this will reach many, but it is not important

Today I want to do some random self-forgiveness, or maybe on the uncertainty of 'making it'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make it in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to gain recognition while I am alive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to feed my ego by having recognition.

I forgive myself that IH ave not accepted and allowed myself that it might not be my peers that get the message, but the future generations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe instant gratification means anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not good enough if I don't get feedback on my writings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I might not get any form of recognition in this life, but still this doesn't mean that I can leave an important message for the beings to come

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that recognition i useless

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that changing the world doesn't endow one with any recognition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work towards a world that is Best for All unless I get recognition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that wanting recognition is Ego

Day 131: Where are You?

The day I woke up to pain and suffering on Earth was when I was about 10, I was living in a community so there were kids my age and some where older in the same big house, and one day one of the older teens/early tweens if I recall well talked about how there are 'snuff movies' where for instance - and this shoked me the most - they would torture people and for example take their eyes out with a spoon. I got shocked to the core, and I realised this = If I am in one room, and someone is geting tortured in another room not too far away, I would not feel their pain. In other words, we do not feel the pain others endure. There was something off.

The other day I had this realization: No matter how awesome you are, if you are not Here - if you are not where you are supposed to be, it is as if you don't exist. For example, if you have to and don't take care of something, if you are not there for it, what does it mean to this thing? It is as if you don't exist. The thing you have to take care of does not benefit from you being 'awesome somewhere else'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not be Here for me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be Here for everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take care of All life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chose the easy path.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the easy path is not easy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the trap in easy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to open my eyes to what is here as the Truth of what is Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by believing that what I do doesn't affect others - when in fact the opposite is true.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can be and become much more than what I believe is possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am always somewhere - so I have to make sure that where I am is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not see that whenever I am not where I am supposed to be, someone suffers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it does not matter how awesome I am if I am not the Best version of myself within the context of what is Best for All.