Day 182: Start Again

Failed? Start again - or go 'back to basics' is also the expression.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for not doing what I think I should do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am doing a lot by working full time and I should not be hard on myself

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I don't have to be pushed around even by me /  not by me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for past mistakes

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to accept the past and let it go

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand failing is part of getting up

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I will only be miserable if I think I am miserable

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I don't have to live up to my expectations in a single day - but instead have patience

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am fine even with unmet expectations

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand it is not about meeting expectations but removing expectations

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dissatisfied because of unmet expectations

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have high expectations of myself

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I don't even have investigated where this expectations come from before accepting them

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am changing one day at a time

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am  enough

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand life is not about expecting but walking 

Day 181: Past Giving Up

 Today at work I wanted to give up, in a moment it seemed that something break, I was ready to stop working.

If I gave up, I know the result, I lose my job and go back home, but, if I continue?

 If I choose this other path of keep going, this route I don't know where it will lead me, and to me its more interesting

So I continued the work and it came up better that I expected and the production numbers were fine

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to give up at the workplace

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see there is a point past giving up

I commit myself to remind mysel I should always take the route that is best and let go of the past and never utilize excuses to perform inadequately

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand there is nothing wrong in manual work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider giving up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand common sense which dictates that one must do what's best for all and that is it

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to stop doing work before I am done

I commit myself to remind myself I don't finish when I want, I finish when I'm done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I can build a good career at my job

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that comfort is not expression

I commit myself to remind myself the answer lies past giving up - I keep going

I commit myself to remind myself that it is always only about choosing the old or the new

I commit myself to rend myself I will never be satisfied with my life doing what I've always done - so I can choose, new beggining not repeating the past - or suffering

I commit myself to remind myself that even when I give up I immediately continue and thus open the next door 'past giving up' and keep going

Day 180: Complex Subjects

Facing/studying complex subjects I should fear not, for I can take it in bite sized portions and use tools to help me in learning it. Recently I've been studying a vast subject and have been a bit discouraged by slow progress, I see I don't have to judge my progress and instead build on the building blocks of the subject until I have achieved mastery of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to learn L in a day

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that anything of worth needs careful study

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I must be comfortable with discomfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that complexity becomes easy with sustained attention

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not 'having what it takes' to learn complex subjects

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself learning L

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am capable of learning anything

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I already have patience enough to Learn anything

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have the tools to learn anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that it is simple to learn something

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to learn L without dedication

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe things must be available instantly like fast food

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see the value in learning things that take time to master

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am more patient than I think

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to work my job if I study into the night

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am ready to learn anything

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that wether I believe I am ready or not I am both correct

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I do everything totally there is no fail possible

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold back when 'doing things'

I commit myself to remind myself I can learn anything

I commit myself to remind myself everything is possible

I commit myself to remind myself 'impossible' is I'm Possible

Day 179: See Something? Say Something

 This world is not all that it can be. There is a lot of suffering and no one is exempt from homelessness. Once you are homeless it is too late. Most pepole don't have a safety net and can easely become homeless in a 'bad turn of events'. In every big city there is homelessness and it is not okay.

We 'are trained' to turn a blind eye. I visited Bucharest and there were homeless people, I'd gladly help them all but it is a systemic problem and I don't have the funds to do it myself. The system says 'ignore the homeless' and when it is your turn to be homeless, guess what? You are ignored.

It is vital for everyone on Earth to change the system to one that uplifts everyone, and the ultra rich will need to 'tone it down' -- we can raise the level of wealth for all to live a 'millionlaire' level of comfort and freedom, just not 'ultra rich' 'billionaire' status, thats not sustainable.

EMS Equal Money System, I'm one vote for it. 

'The Equal Money System is a New Worldwide system as a solution to provide All human beings with resources to Live an Equal and Dignified life. This System will be a first step in the political and democratic agenda of the Equal Life Party Worldwide'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is no solution for homelessness eventhough I can see there are enough resoruces on Earth for everyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that homelessness is a result of the current money sytem and it can be change into an EMS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn a blind eye when I see a homeless person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how money create castes as in levels for people to live out, with homelessness at the bottom and billionaire status at the top -- not Equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am a valuable member of society in the degree that I work on myself to change it to what's Best for All

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the sytem trule does not care about me, only in the measure that I can get money and when I can't, the system chews me up and spits me out as homeless

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow blindly the sytem precepts of get a job make money and forget about everything else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the cost of me living 'my life' and 'that's it' as that creates the continuation of the system as it is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to change others to change the sytem instead of seeing, realising and understanding I have to change myself and thus be an example - that's it

178: God & Me

If you cannot find something it means that you are that something and when you hear this phrase you think maybe about God, no one can find him therefore we are all God and this carries a big responsibility because we literally shape the way the Earth is and its problems

There are no problems, there are only solutions

The solution is an equal money system where everyone is supported

And on an individual level I can change my life at any given point when I am tired of the way I have been so called manifesting or creating a life that I don’t like for myself, I can change it

So 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my life has to be or go the way it has been going

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself to continue the way of life I have without questioning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have zest for life, to not be anticipating good things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and around myself do not see realize and understand that I can have, be and become whatever I want in this life 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and around myself do not see and realize and understand the gift that I have been given of money in the form of a paycheck in the form of a work so that i can develop myself in any way I want 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and around myself do not see realize and understand that I don’t have to be a wage slave all my life 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and around myself do not see realize and understand that I am not who I was - who I have always been, and I am not anyone new also - I am the one that has been here all the way along and will be after I die

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that death will easy my life instead of seeing that my life is actually very easy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that creating my life means being uncomfortable at points

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that being god means having a lot of responsibility 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of responsibility or avoid it, try to avoid it 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can lose myself in something I can do - when this is impossible 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use drugs in the past to not face myself

 I forgive myself that i have accepted on myself to be pessimistic about myself and my life 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have the marvel of marvels on Earth which is a human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard my physical body, and not properly take care of it 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that change is inevitable - change is what it is what is going on - but I can direct change to be the best possible for Me and for All

Day 177: Air Traffic

Today I was thinking, if there is air traffic control in every country, why can’t we make a system that provides for everyone? We can do it.

There is no excuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the world is artificially scarce

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this world favors the super rich and the rich and the elite instead of favoring everyone equally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear challenging the status quo

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a good experience instead of doing what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the hypocrisy of the rich saying that this is how is it how it is not able to change to be changed 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that i have to speak up for everyone every one life, every single human being

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that if i don’t speak up I am accepting and allowing the abuse to continue

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that unless i take action nothing will change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the change starts with my self-change and nowhere else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that for the world to change I have to change myself first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have the tools to change and that I can get more to change more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that staying in silence is abusive in this world of abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that scarcity is artificial

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that everywhere that help is needed, help is able to go, like when countries need extra food, water, or other medical attention, medical supplies, etc

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have to make an inner work for me to be able to stand up for myself and for all

Thank you

Day 176: I’m Possible

I don't feel like writing. I don't feel like making a blog. But I don't feel like giving up also, which is stronger than this. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am stronger than giving up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that giving up is not an option

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that anything is possible 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that impossible means ‘I'm possible’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that, it doesn't matter how difficult it gets, I will never give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that I am enough to write a blog a day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that unless I push myself to something it won't be done automatically

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that everything is possible 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my options are limited

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not think big

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think small

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am small

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am big

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that whether I think I am big or I think I am small, I am right

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself. to fear pain in dying

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is pain in dying

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have endured probably more pain in life than I will in death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that one thing I will be proud of when I die is if I didn't ever give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I cannot help everyone before I help myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that maybe in helping others I will lose myself and then everyone's fucked because I cannot help everyone, I have to help myself first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to help others instead of helping myself first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that help is only possible if I assist myself first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the blog will not be good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that as long as it supports me it's good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that there's no enemies, only self to be directed 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that there's no fear that can stop me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being unimportant

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be important

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be relevant

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not treat myself as relevant and important to myself, and want it from others

Day 175: I Will Make Something Big

'I will make something big' maybe it's only me but I think everyone has this point inside themselves where they think that they will make something big, and it's cool because it doesn't have to be outside of themselves it can be on the inside and then maybe yes on the outside. 

 When the egg cracks from the inside the chicken lives, when the egg crack from the outside the chicken dies, meaning one cannot force anyone to do anything, it has to come by themselves on their own accord.

One day i will make something big because I am big on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in grandiose things instead of being here directing myself in every breathe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I dont necessarily have to make something big for others, but I can definetly make something big for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of others how I can affect others instead of how I can affect myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can make change for myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that if i come first that's the way to do it 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to make movement in others instead of make movement in myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it's too late for me 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize understand that as long as there is breath there is opportunity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take breath for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am very far from death, when death can come at any moment like a thief in the night

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't have time to lose

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a bubble around me of inaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do that which I know I have to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in their routine day after day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need memory to function

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am understanding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard help

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand I don't really need help 

'Let go of every addiction and take it seriously to work on myself'

I commit myself to remind myself that I am serious

I commit myself to remind myself that I will not stop until this is done, it is done

I commit myself to remind myself that if others can do it, I can do it as well

I commit myself to remind myself I am the word 'unlimited'

Day 174: Freestyle Self-Forgiveness

Hey ChatGPT introduce my self-forgiveness:

"This text is a collection of self-forgiveness statements aimed at acknowledging fears, limiting beliefs, and emotional patterns. Through this process, the writer takes responsibility for their life and begins releasing dependency, insecurity, and self-judgment, moving toward personal empowerment and self-awareness."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying right now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand I am a full responsible human being

I forgive myself that I have accepted around myself to want others to go easy on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted around myself to fear being left out and homeless 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, understand that I am the key to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the key to myself is outside of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the key to myself is within money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money the object of desire, instead of making myself anew 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to not see, realize, and understand that to be a good communicator I have to communicate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my word 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy at pronunciating words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what others will think of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the so-called 'others' don't care what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want people to give a fuck about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand no one gives a fuck

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that everything I want is on the other side of my fears, insecurities, and beliefs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am my own enemy and my greatest ally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a wife or relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I know where to go, and I must do it

Day 172: Hard on Myself

 

I see I don't really cheer myself up or give myself credit for my achievements like stopping smoking, it's a change for the better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe being hard on myself is healthy or that it works

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have to go easy on myself, easy on me 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't know everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am not in control of fate 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in fate  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not see, realize and understand that I create my life 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not see, realize and understand that I am not less than others 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard others 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to believe I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going back to basics 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot succeed 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to succeed without defining success 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that success is subjective  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand. that I am not my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that no one can tell me what to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others outside of myself to tell me what to do 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately sabotage myself when doing what others told me to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I cannot fail others, I am only failing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck up my relationships by not doing what I said I was going to do. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that if the rewards are for me, the consequences are also for me of my actions

I commit myself to remind myself I am Here with me always

I commit myself to remind myself there is no need to rush

I commit myseld to go easy on myself whenever I am hard on myself 

I commit myself to remind myself to be kind to myself

Day 170: The Wall Inside

The wall inside can be many things. For me it's about limiting beliefs mostly and accepted things without investigating them. Limitations like thinking I'm not worth it 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the challenges I have are a present for me so that if I overcome them, I get that present

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have to simply work on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself down every day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not believe in myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need more money to be someone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need more studies to be someone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to change my body type to be someone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to do something special to be someone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am special

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have a bigger purpose

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I do little things is how I will do bigger things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do that which I see will be giving me the most benefit to myself, not money exclusively 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I do my best I will get somewhere

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard myself as someone that can make it in this life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can make it in this life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even try with all my heart to overcome my challenges

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up when I wake up from the bed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself down whenever I don't wake up and stand up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not worth it of the good things in life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to suffer

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beat myself up for no reason

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't have to beat myself up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have to explore about myself, keep that which is good and let go of the rest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the phrase, 'investigate everything and keep what's good'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have to invest in myself and tools that will help me overcome any addiction and any limitation

Day 169: Change or Not Change

For up until now, I have thought of myself that I do not change. I want change and I think I don't change. 

Well, I have been abstaining from drugs for over a year. That's change, that's something new. So I have to be less hard on myself and acknowledge the positive changes I've made and see that I can make many more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am always changing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that change is not something in the future, but a constant doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear forgetting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how much I have changed in recent times

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not acknowledge my change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don't change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I either change positively im a good way or negatively, either I change through consequence, or I change through choice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am shit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how much I have changed

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not acknowledge the fact that I've been drug free for over a year

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my self beliefs are not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am a fuck-up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I don't and can't change 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be impatient about change 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that progress is made when I think I am not making progress 

I commit myself to be patient and easygoing with myself

I commit myself to remind myself I am always changing either consciously or un-consciously 

I commit myself to direct change to what's best for All starting with what's best for me

Day 165: Discipline and Balance

Discipline is not banging my head to the wall, although it could be if I had set that as a goal lol, I see that discipline is doing what I said - to me or others - until I'm done. 

I see I didn't fully understand Discipline and it seemed to me it came from the outside, when it has to come 'from within/from me' for Me, as something that I use to complete my goals, commitments and agreements.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot be disciplined

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe discipline is hard

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that discipline is habit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that whatever I allow to do in one day, I allow to do in many

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear boredom if I am disciplined

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that on the other side of discipline is what I really want in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot be disciplined with food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot go back to be thin

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not discipline myself into being Here at all times aware

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not worthy of being realized

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I don't deserve to have a good life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am sinful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a sinner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have to be gentle and easy on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't have to have wants in this life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can choose whatever I want to experience in this life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can decide what I want to do in this life and do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that once I am dead it's too late

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand I am so hard on myself that I don't even want to want anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to experience anything in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not explore what it is that I want to experience in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that discipline is to do what I say I was going to do and nothing else 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that whatever I commit to do is what I have to do with discipline

Day 164: Lazy Gets Nothing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what I say. Okay, no judgement, only me and you, here, in this moment, no fluff, all grain.

I have a friend that when he's with me all the time he thinks what can I say that is interesting. He comes up with stuff that to me is boring. So I will not try to come up with anything interesting to you because maybe you will find it boring. So, did you know that who doesn't want to change their life because he thinks he's too fucked up.

is because he's lazy and don't want to rearrange everything inside themself? Because like today I was at work and we work with packages of furniture in... on... on pallets and I was saying to my colleague this pallet is fucked up I need to do something with it,

or change a new one. He said that you are lazy you don't want to change it, from take it apart. 

So it's like in life one has to take it apart, pause, stop for a moment, stop with capital letters and then slowly slowly

deconstruct ourselves, slowly slowly, stop ourselves when there's nothing, you reach the point of nothingness and from here we go up up not in the sense of higher but in the sense of building ourselves the way we want to be and this is what I'm doing with these blogs.

thank you very much

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to face my life head on and apply myself in changing myself with the tools available

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am capable of changing myself and so must do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not apply myself and change myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, Missing out on everything on life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be interesting to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be, Interesting for others instead of being interesting for myself

I commit myself to remind myself that I must make myself interesting for myself only

I commit myself to remind myself that I am with myself always so I Should become interesting for myself not for others

Day 163: Con-ditioned

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself in my daily living. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't have to diminish myself at all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am freedom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't have to condition myself to anyone else 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be gentle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not go easy on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it will not work if I am not feeling it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't need to have any feeling for me to apply self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts I have about self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the gift that is self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive myself for real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe resistance to applying self-forgiveness is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it doesn't matter if it feels difficult, I have to apply self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must forgive myself to let go of the past and limitations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, in the past, to want to be close to people with money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can be the one that makes money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that self-limitations can be in many aspects of self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am here in every moment of breath, aware, present

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my father is always with me, no matter what

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that all my loved ones, my grandfather, all are with me at all times

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not honor the support that I have been receiving

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act as if I don't have support from the hereafter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to explain myself instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that first of all I have to understand myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act as if I am alone when I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the phrase 'everything is known at all times'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sounding mind washed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that you are brainwashed if you don't apply self-forgiveness and change

Day 160: I Am the Same Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

No matter what happens I must be the same 'Yesterday, today and tomorrow', I cannot let events change me or anything else. I've seen that 'fame' tend to change me, basically I become more stupid lol and also worries about the future make me 'constrict' instead of walking with my head straight no matter what.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I must be the same yesterday, today and tomorrow - as Jesus said

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let 'fame' change me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let 'external attention' change me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am capable of being the same yesterday, today and tomorrow

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I have 'some' time to apply myself to live so that I am the same always  - yesterday, today and tomorrow

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy about finding ways to live what's best for all starting from myself

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that if I am Not the same yesterday, today and tomorrow = I have a problem

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I should not fear the future as it never arrives

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the future is simply the continuation of the present

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that all that I am is Here and that's where I must apply all of myself

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand both Past and Future do not exist one is past and the other is yet to come

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am Here no matter what always

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself because of the/my past instead of forgiving it and letting it go unconditionally

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am unconditionally Here no matter what happens

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see nothing that can happen is unsumournable and only death is final

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to change wether it is Yesterday, Today or Tomorrow

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to match the unconditionality of Life

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see that = To be Life I have to do like Life does

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that to do what Life does I have to Give as I would like to Receive

Day 159: Overcoming Resistance and Fear

 

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe my own limitations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not my limitations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear never being able to overcome my limitations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not alone

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear resistance

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I have to be okay with experiencing resistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and undrestand that resistance does not mean impossibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand  that resistance is the compass that indicates where should I go

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to respond to resistance with avoidance instead of application/facing resistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have to be grateful to resistance as it show me where to go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that fear is an illusion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for fear instead of facing fear head on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am capable of facing my fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can act despite fear

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am more than capable to face and overcome resistance and fear by acting despite of it all

I commit myself to remind myself that my resistances show me the way to go

I commit myself to remind myself that I should go where I resist

I commit myself to show myself that fear is an illusion

I commit myself to show myself I can go where I resist

Day 155: When Not Loving the Past

Sometimes I am a bit annoyed - that's the word - when I am observing the past or what 'has just happened' because I don't like it, I judge the past, immediate or late past. Then I realize, hey, the past that 'just happened' has lead me to be here where I am now, where I have 'immense power' to change, to create my future in the present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist to my past, immediate or distant past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be grateful for all my past happenings and experiences as they led me to where I am now - where I can create anew

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand all that happened to me has led me to where I am now, capable of change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see it is up to me to say 'enough is enough' to whatever it is I dislike of my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that it is up to me to in every breath bury the old and birth the new

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the 'lessons' from the past will be enough when I decide they are enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the power in the word decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that from the shit grows the plant - thus my past can be however it is but I can make it grow into a beatiful life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not rejoice at where I am now - always clinging to the past that I cannot change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not  see, realise and understand I will stop reacting to my past when I decide and see it made me arrive where I am now - and for that I am grateful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that change is a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it will be too difficult to change everything of me - not seeing, realising and understanding one can do everything one breath at a time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself for my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I must be grateful to my past  as it made me arrive where I am, no matter how dark and ugly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my past instead of forgiving it and letting it go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I can change the future doing what is best in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am capable of being and becoming the best version of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that without accepting the future, forgiving and forgetting - I cannot create the future that is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I can do, be and become so much more than what I am currently doing and experiencing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not immediately forgive and forget the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control the future instead of focusing on Here and being flexible with whatever happens, that in turn can be blessings in disguise

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and forgive and forget my past

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see the joy that comes with accepting my past

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand it is not how many times I fall but how many times I stand up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cycle my falls, repeat them instead of learning, changing and letting go

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I don't have to repeat my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the power of change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that repeating the past is a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not decide what is best for All - and thus for me - in every moment of breath