July 21, 2012

Day 17: Breathing or not



All that I allow myself to put me down - a thought that offers me to embark in some activity that is not what I would do if I were to follow my mental schedule of to-do's - really can' t put me down. How can I be put down if I am still breathing. Only if I were to stop breathing I would be prevented from any physical action. That's what it is, physical action. Action on the mind is not real action. It's like watching a movie - time to turn the camera back to myself and see 'hey, I'm there sitting wandering off without really doing anything other than playing movies in my head'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to the movies in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prevent myself from physical action by playing thoughts in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with physical actions that are not relevant or prioritary to what is best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue 'dreaming' by participating in thoughts in my mind after waking up in the morning instead of immediately move myself to physical action such as sit on the bed and stand up to continue going for a glass of water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that any resistance I can experience to a given physical action is not real as long as I am still breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the lie of the mind in believing the inner talk of self-sabotage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that as long as I am physically able to take on a task I have no excuses to not do it when I have the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not motivate myself to take on the tasks that I resist with tricks such as making excuses to start like 'only write one sentence' to then continue writing more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to live in an alternate reality where I can manage/direct what happens in an instant - thoughts - instead of living in the real reality that is the physical and to change it if it is one fucked up reality.

I commit myself to motivate myself to move myself in physical actions such as writing and doing real tasks that are not playing thoughts in my mind.

I commit myself to shut the internal movies off whenever I see I am again playing thoughts in my mind by immediately disturb the movie by any means possible such as self forgiveness for myself.

I commit myself to remind myself to keep myself stable here in physical actions and to remind myself that anything that is not physical is not real.

I commit myself to remind myself that whenever I am breathing I can take on a physical action.

I commit myself to face myself in the physical instead of hiding from myself in the mind.



Featured Art Work by Marlen Vargas Del Razo
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