April 11, 2013

Day 83: Imaginary Limits



I was reading an interview where I saw a being being effective in their world, standing up for herself and while I was reading I noticed a heaviness in my lower back and legs, an increased awareness of that area and it reminded me of the paralyisis where the lower back and legs are paralised. And I can relate this to self imposed limitation that I have believed to be real, where I don't give myself the chance to stand up for myself and instead accept to let all opportunities pass - as if I can't walk/take them on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't be directive in my world at all times.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself enough to give myself the opportunity to walk what I see is that I must do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't be effective in everything I see I have to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I fear to stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to render myself useless by not standing up for myself and taking the opportunities that I have with me in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others are better than me and that I can't do what others can do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special by seemingly being unable to stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get attention from being ineffective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself attention and want others to give it to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust in my capabilities to direct and be successful in the tasks that I set myself to do.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself the time to do the tasks that I have to do - no matter what, unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to dare to do the tasks that are important/relevant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for distraction and satisfaction in order to forget that I am not standing up for myself - instead of standing up for myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing if I stand up for myself within myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realise that not standing up for myself is the failure - not not being succesful when doing it and having to repeat until I have it done.

Whenever I see that I am lagging behind my responsibilities and not standing up for myself, I stop and breathe. I realise that I have to walk until all is taken care of both within and without - and in this every breath counts.

I commit myself to stand up for myself in every breath, directing what I have to do within effectiveness and discipline.

Whenever I see that I am giving up and stranding myself, I stop and breathe. I realise that it must only be a product of the mind and thus a sickness that I am not standing up for myself - so I stop and redirect myself to stand up for myself, exploring how it is that I stopped to correct it and not allow myself to fall back/fall behind.

I commit myself to investigate all instances where I participate in apathy/isolation and where I give up, to correct it until I stand eternally.

Whenever I see that I am accepting self-limitation, I stop and breathe. I realise that I can't accept anything else than what is best, so in every moment I move to do my best and work to expand it.

I commit myslef to discipline myself to stand in every situation/moment that I face.

I commit myself to take myself and tasks one breath at a time, within patience and perseverance.

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