Day 156: When No One is Watching?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to behave different when I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that everything is known at All times

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be entertaining if someone is watching when I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to live for others instead of for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am destined to fail

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself to fulfill my prophecy - self fulfilled prophecy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I should not change my behaviour when I am alone or if I think someone is watching

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a big deal of what I do in my life

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear not having any money

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am one amongst billions

I forgive myself that I have acceepted and allowed myself to have a worldview where I am central

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I can create a good life for myself and support others as well

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see that I come first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others that I regard as more than to plan my life

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see falling for behavior addictions is giving up

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I can stand up for myself and for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not redirect my energy into creativity instead of destruction/addiction

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be greateful for my past that thanks to it I am where I am now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I can be and become much more than what I think I can

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge awareness living as heavy and difficult when it is not so in fact

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I will be ok

I commit myself to remind myself that living with awareness is best

I commit myself to remind myself autopilot living is not good

I commit myself to breathe and be aware of breath as much as possible

I commit myself to practice integrity - doing what's best even when 'alone'

Day 155: When Not Loving the Past

Sometimes I am a bit annoyed - that's the word - when I am observing the past or what 'has just happened' because I don't like it, I judge the past, immediate or late past. Then I realize, hey, the past that 'just happened' has lead me to be here where I am now, where I have 'immense power' to change, to create my future in the present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist to my past, immediate or distant past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be grateful for all my past happenings and experiences as they led me to where I am now - where I can create anew

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand all that happened to me has led me to where I am now, capable of change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see it is up to me to say 'enough is enough' to whatever it is I dislike of my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that it is up to me to in every breath bury the old and birth the new

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the 'lessons' from the past will be enough when I decide they are enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the power in the word decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that from the shit grows the plant - thus my past can be however it is but I can make it grow into a beatiful life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not rejoice at where I am now - always clinging to the past that I cannot change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not  see, realise and understand I will stop reacting to my past when I decide and see it made me arrive where I am now - and for that I am grateful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that change is a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it will be too difficult to change everything of me - not seeing, realising and understanding one can do everything one breath at a time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself for my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I must be grateful to my past  as it made me arrive where I am, no matter how dark and ugly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my past instead of forgiving it and letting it go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I can change the future doing what is best in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I am capable of being and becoming the best version of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that without accepting the future, forgiving and forgetting - I cannot create the future that is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I can do, be and become so much more than what I am currently doing and experiencing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not immediately forgive and forget the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control the future instead of focusing on Here and being flexible with whatever happens, that in turn can be blessings in disguise

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and forgive and forget my past

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see the joy that comes with accepting my past

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand it is not how many times I fall but how many times I stand up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cycle my falls, repeat them instead of learning, changing and letting go

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand I don't have to repeat my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the power of change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that repeating the past is a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not decide what is best for All - and thus for me - in every moment of breath

Day 154: I Am Here

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live with the autopilot not realizing I Am Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this ‘being here’ has always and will always be 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don’t have to be ‘the best’ meaning giving the best conversation or other superlative, but simply be me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is fine being silent instead of wanting to be ‘more’ and ‘the best’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have an effect with my words instead of sharing myself unconditionally or having lighthearted talk

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too serious

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my words will have a grandiose outcome instead of simply sharing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is best to be silent than to rant and rave

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the problem is thinking about the self - without the self there is no problem

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a powerful grandiose self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see I don’t have to ‘save the world’ - and it is impossible too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take this burden upon myself of wanting to save the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose to me the burden of guiding or saving others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am a savior instead of seeing I can only ever be an example

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can become an example, and that’s it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my own living will be the living example that I want others to have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be an example unto myself - for myself and others

Day 153: Fame Made Me Stupid

 I don't know if famous people feel it or notice it but the day I did a stand-up at a bar that went well, that night my friend beat me at chess a bunch of times, I was definetly distracted and could understand how famous people go weird some times.

When there is equality there are no special ones because everyone is special.

I am one, you are one, 1+1=2, not 1+1=0.75 or 2.5. So you can work out for yourself equals - that doesn't mean the same.

The most radical of all, the equality equation. And lets end Hollywood 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be famous

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand up for myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how shitty some people have it 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change whenever I perceive I have many eyes on me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see,  realise and understand it is not about how many people 'follow/listen' to me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear rejection 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be noticed

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to plan my life in my head instead of being grateful of what life offers me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use fear as an excuse to not perfect myself in self honesty

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe I should get the attention of peers

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to link being liked to survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tie self worth to the attention I get 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link attention to money 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to be rich 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I am not rich is because I am not ready

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it takes action to be rich/wealthy

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself instead of supporting myself

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not walk the talk

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace my situation fully, no matter how difficult it gets

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself with backdoors to my plan

I commit myself to close all backdoors to my plan 

I commit myself to either change the plan or stick to it unconditionally - no backdoors

I commit myself to be self-honest 

I commit myself to value what I have instead of resisting my situation 

I commit myself to be open to whatever happens 

I commit myself to embrace myself fully no matter where I am or what happens

I commit myself to embrace every situation as an opportunity

I commit myself to disregard fame and be true to myself at all times always 

I commit myself to be self-honest no matter how much money I have 

I commit myself to support myself to be aware in every situation 

I commit myself to watch my mind and direct myself to correct it effectively in every breath