January 13, 2013

Day 63: Who Decides?

Who decides what happens to me? Aside from chance or imprevisible events the one who decides what happens to me is me. What I do in every moment accumulates and then wherever I am I know one thing: I am living the result of my accumulated past. To create my future in a way that is best for me then is to make decisions and live them accordingly so that I accumulate for a better future than I am at the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to wait for permission to create a life for myself that is worthwile and fulfilling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not accumulate in every moment what is best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell into self-pity and my limitations instead of expanding myself in applying myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the 'McDonalds' change where I am in a moment changed and live a fulfilling life instead of realizing that it will take time and effort and planning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself in not applying myself in writing, self forgiveness and practical application = to stop the accepted self-abuse and push myself to expand/do more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not do the tasks I have to do such as judging things as difficult - not seeing, realizing or understanding that this is irrelevant and I must walk regardless of any experience, in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself every time I fail to do what I see I have to do - failing myself in doing this - instead of standing up for myself.

I commit myself to assess what it is that I have to do and apply it in the moment immediately and continue to do it throughout the day, going back to this application whenever I see I am not doing what is supportive for me to do at a given moment.

I commit myself to remind myself that it is me who placed myself in the position that I am now, and therefore it is me that will have to place myself in a better position through walking that which is best for me to do in every moment - without any excuses valid, because self-sabotage is unacceptable always.

When and as I see myself making up excuses to not do something, I stop and breathe. I realize within this that postponing will create unnecesary consequence so I do it instead.

When and as I see myself looking for some distraction, I stop and breathe. I realize that there is no way that I can avoid being with myself, so I do the work first and then utilize the free time to do something I enjoy.

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