February 2, 2013

Day 66: Playing with a dog


The other day I was walking home when I saw at the park neaby many dogs with their owners - and decided to approach them to see if a dog wanted to play. I had a cool time playing with one little dog that approached me with a ball.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy myself in what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge certain activities as enjoyable and others as boring - in separation from the activity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate that a task will be boring - creating it this way unnecesarily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself taking tasks that I don't 'like' as a punishment - instead of investigating if the dislike is in fact real - or a self-delusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the 'resistance' to walk a task is real - without question or challenge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'hide' from myself within doing tasks 'overdoing' them without directing myself practically in common sense to do fit within my day all the activities that are important/relevant - not just overdo one task to avoid the rest.

Whenever I see I am judging a task I stop and breathe. I realize that my judgement is an excuse to no investigate the task and myself within the task - that may lead to challenge my self-definition -- so I breathe and walk through the task and investigate the trigger of the reaction to the task.

Whenever I see I am being hard on myself within a task, I stop and breathe. I realize that there is no need to 'possess myself' with a task to the extent where I abuse my body and go into the mind - as it is not needed to do the task effectively -- so I go back to breath and direct myself practically.

Whenever I see that I am procrastinating on one task by overdoing another task I stop and breathe. I realize that applying self-honesty is required - so whenever I notice that I am hiding within a task I re-align myself to walk commonsensically what is best that I do in a given moment.

Whenever I am experiencing myself as 'heavy' or 'bored' while doing a task I stop and breathe - I realize and understand that in that moment I went into my mind and missed to be here as breath so I instead focus on the physical herenesss while walking the task.

I see/realize/understand that the desire to 'instant happiness' in doing a task is not real - but that I can apply myself to not participate in the mind while doing tasks so that I may start to enjoy what I do instead of going into the mind that generates thoughts/feelings and emotions that veil what is really going on in the physical -- energy being de delusion and physicality what is real.

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