Day 175: I Will Make Something Big

'I will make something big' maybe it's only me but I think everyone has this point inside themselves where they think that they will make something big, and it's cool because it doesn't have to be outside of themselves it can be on the inside and then maybe yes on the outside. 

 When the egg cracks from the inside the chicken lives, when the egg crack from the outside the chicken dies, meaning one cannot force anyone to do anything, it has to come by themselves on their own accord.

One day i will make something big because I am big on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in grandiose things instead of being here directing myself in every breathe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I dont necessarily have to make something big for others, but I can definetly make something big for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of others how I can affect others instead of how I can affect myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can make change for myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that if i come first that's the way to do it 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to make movement in others instead of make movement in myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it's too late for me 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize understand that as long as there is breath there is opportunity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take breath for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am very far from death, when death can come at any moment like a thief in the night

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't have time to lose

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a bubble around me of inaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do that which I know I have to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in their routine day after day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need memory to function

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am understanding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard help

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand I don't really need help 

'Let go of every addiction and take it seriously to work on myself'

I commit myself to remind myself that I am serious

I commit myself to remind myself that I will not stop until this is done, it is done

I commit myself to remind myself that if others can do it, I can do it as well

I commit myself to remind myself I am the word 'unlimited'

Day 171: Let Go of Control

If I achieved what I wanted, maybe I would not be here. I would be doing some things that are irrelevant for my life and for the life of others. I am here, I apply myself, I write blogs. Maybe if I had success in some ways that I wanted, I would not be applying myself consistently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can't let go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cling to everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the outcome of things to be how I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe things have to be how I want, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that things, even when they don't go as I planned, can be even better

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am not the one to decide what will happen next

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless whenever things don't go as I planned

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that how I am right now is maybe the best way I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the things that I want, maybe I am better

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I will never have a family of my own

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I have to create a life for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the potential that I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear misery

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I will do the best I can wherever I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that I am all that I have

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not choose always what's best for all and for me, thus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don't control outcomes, I am not in control or it's not the best, while this is not so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I have to let things be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequence from my actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to play God by wanting my outcome to be the real one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the most effort doesn't mean the best choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to do a lot of effort if I choose what's best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that only that which is not real stops existing