Day 146: Success

 I am the most relevant person to myself, and now is the time that matters the most to myself, now that I am alive and living: What do I give more importance to, money? or Life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more importance to money other than Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe if I don't have money I will cease to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a job and thus not have money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being homeless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a job.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that it is of no use to fear not having a job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more importance to money over Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that me being broke is irrelevant

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to see a bigger picture than me being broke or otherwise it is all I will ever be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe broke is all I can ever be.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see further than my monetary value

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that my income is not a representation of myself.

Day 138: Wich Way is The Way

Learning is the way, that is for sure, and, at some point unlearning as well, because if what I am doing is not working it means that I have to learn something new, and maybe at the same time unlearn something old - and apply.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unsuccessful through judging myself through false standards

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not celebrate my life by judging it as unsuccessful through judging it with false standards

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that money is not the only measurement of success

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I change the way I see myself I will keep judging myself - thus limiting myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the opportunities that I have in my life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless I stop judging myself I will not be able to see the opportunities that are available for me, right in front of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how self judgements are self limiting/limiting my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am in a far better situation than I believe

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that beliefs about myself are also a limitation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the belief that I am not successful is not true

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I have done nothing to have x amount of money, then I will not have x amount of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have x amount of money instead of doing something to get x amount of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure for having X amount of money instead of seeing that it is impossible I have Y amount of money if I do nothing to have it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that limiting beliefs are limiting indeed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am isolated

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am free, free to change all that I dont like or want to change or improve of my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I apply common sense in my life, nothing will make sense

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do what I have proven myself to work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about others´ judgements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give importance to others judgements, opinions and sayings about me and what I do

Day 112: Paranoia of Failure - Part Two

Continuing from: Day 111: Paranoia of Failure

An interesting point came up, which is the point of desires, and I see how I saw 'living in the system' and going to get a job and make money 'seriously' meaning to get a good career - I despised that in the sense of seeing it as the way of 'self-interest' but yet I desired it - in terms of what one can achieve through that, through having money. So instead of sorting myself  out and seeing for myself that yes I can support myself to have a good career and take responsibility for myself as 'who I am'/what I have become - at the same time, instead I participated in 'Paranoia of Failure' to not take responsibility for myself and so that I can ultimately 'simply work for money', 'follow my desires' and not care about taking responsibility for myself but invest my life and money in living out my desires.

In a nutshell, and this one I give to myself, I did not "have the courage" to live out my desires/self-interest and suppressed it, but continued to not take responsibility for myself just in case 'I get to live that'. So I did not immediately go and live out the desire, but wait in hope that maybe possibly at some point in the future I can live them. All this was unnecessary. It is not a problem to have a good career - it is in fact useful to do something of worth in this life. The part that is a problem is the mind and sorting out this desires/suppression. The solution is to make and live the decision to change: to stop self-interest, and to change myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my desires yet want to hold onto them and so participate in 'Paranoia of Failure' so that maybe in the future I 'get to live out my desires' - in self-interest to entertain myself and not take responsibility for myself and change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make and walk the decision to stop self-interest and take responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can entertain myself in this life through living out desires, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I can't avoid taking responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value more desires than myself and what I can be and become if I take responsibility for me and my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in self-interest of wanting to live out my desires, instead of evaluating them and see what is valid if any and what is not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the gift within 'Paranoia of Failure' as I have been able to see where I was deceiving myself and that I can create a life for myself walking the Principles I've committed myself to live by - instead of desires.

I commit myself to remind myself that I am not my desires.

I commit myself to plan my life, so that I am no longer controlled by desires but know in detail that I am walking within the principles I commited myself to live by.

Day 101: Do or Die

It has been a long time since I wrote a blog. I made excuses in my mind such as having to come up with a specific blog that I have to write since a long time ago, and basically because I was not writing that blog I was not posting anything else.

It is the same with missing class with a private tutor that I attend, because I did not want to show up without having done a task we started, and when I finally decide to go regardless of not having this task done and simply attending with the intention to do the task there, it turns out that we do another thing. So I will still have time to do the other task by myself.

So, excuses are lame and that is that. You either take responsibility for you - and me for me - or you don't. And that is something I can live in every moment of breath, with taking practical decisions.

Another example is the task of walking my lesson of the DIP course, where I avoided it completely and today put myself to it and to my surprise, I enjoyed reading the lesson - and I've seen for myself once more that not applying myself is accepting and allowing myself to live and continue living in utmost limitation and fear - that is unnecessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize excuses to not have to take responsibility for myself in writting blogs and with studiyng and other tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life without giving myself direction as self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by not applying myself as self-responsibility in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to the excuses that I make up in my mind to not direct myself - without realizing that I then pay with the wasting away of my life/time on earth and other consequences that manifest with me not taking responsibility for myself.

Whenever I see that I come up with an excuse in my mind to not walk/do a task, I stop and I breathe, I realize the inevitable that I take responsibility for myself and therefore I stop the thought and continue with doing the task.

I commit myself to me and disregard all distractions/excuses and instead walk my responsibilities within and as steadfastness. I see/realize and understand that participating in procrastination is a time and opportunity waster.

Whenever I see that I am not appling myself as self-direction in my life, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that I have proven myself in the past that I can take responsibility for myself in walking tasks dilligently - so I put myself to work on the practical tasks of taking responsibility for me and my life.

I commit myself to give myself direction as self-responsibility in self-honesty in every moment of breath.

To continue in the next post

Day 94: Stars Aligned - Start a Line

Today has been quite a 'ride' because I have both passed the course of Environmental Chemistry that I have been doing the past few years and also have decided to start at university Agricultural Engineering. This is some self-forgiveness on jumpiness/overexcitement - lol - and more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget to breathe when I give or receive 'good news'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to obtain recognition for having passed at my studies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to risk not passing at my studies by studying at the last moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I have passed, somehow I have won.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with the point of having passed, instead of seeing that it is merely an opportunity to keep walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I rejoice/indulge too much in the experience of having passed that I forget to apply myself effectively in continuing my studies at university.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I go into 'shock' somehow and forget to direct myself effectively in my reality now that I have passed at my studies.

Whenever I see that I am not here as breath when communicating with others, I stop and I breathe. I realize that my point of stability is within breathing.

I commit myself to remain within self-stability by applying myself within breathing.

Whenever I see that I want recongizion from others, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can give to myself recognition, so I investigate where it is that I don't recognize myself.

I commit myself to investigate the instances where I want to obtain recognition form others, to give to myself that which I place out there, outside of myself.

Whenever I see that I participate in procrastination within my studies, I stop and I breathe. I realize that procrastination will lead to consequence, therefore I stop and direct myself in common sense.

I commit myself to direct me in my reality within common sense as what is Best for All.

Whenever I see that I am participating in 'positive' energy, I stop and I breathe. I realize that positive experiences as energy are a polarity of negative. Both are not real.

I commit myself to breathe through the positive experiences, and investigate them in writing to ground myself so that I don't fool myself within energy delusions.

Whenever I see that I become obsessed about the past of having passed, I stop and I breathe. I realize that the past is gone, both for what was a 'good experience' and what was a 'bad experience' according to me - and thus only have what is here to work with. Within this, I commit myself to remain here as breath, directing myself within physical stability in common sense and practicality.

Whenever I see that I fear over-rejoicing for having passed at my studies, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is cool to celebrate, although I must keep walking within common sense, to not unnecessarily distract myself from what is here to do in every moment to live effectively.

I commit myself to consider in every moment what it is that I am participating in, to make sure that I am grounded here as physical breathe and not somewhere up there in my mind as energy - then I don't have to fear, because I make sure that I am Here with me in this physical reality.

Whenever I see that I fear that I go into shock for having passed at my studies, I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is my responsibility to remain Here as breath in every moment, that this will assist me greatly, so I apply myself within it and see that I am Here. 

Day 89: The Failer

In the past I have always reacted to my own failures, where I would become angry and frustrated whenever I failed at something such as an exam, instead of seeing that I created the situation myself. Seeing that I created the situation is one step to then sort it out, because if I merely react and blame anything outside of myself, I give my power away to that which I blame. Most of the times that I failed despite having the time and resources to not fail are an indicator that I chose to fail and thus it must be investigated, this weird self-sabotage system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that I did not create failure = to not have to take responsibility for myself within that in which I apparently failed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to manipulate my environment by 'selectively failing' so that I can get what I think I can't get in any other way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inadequate whenever I fail, instead of seeing the situation for what it is, investigating it and defusing it with the tools available - so that I don't waste my time/life on failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the situations where I failed, without realizing that it was me who designed the situation in the past -- as I design my experience of me in my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate, correct and let go of the design of failure in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain myself with failure, instead of assisting and supporting myself to expand myself to see what is possible to do/live in this world within the principle of doing that which is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself to cycles of failure, having to do things many times unnecesarily - and at the same time enslaving all others by not using my time effectively to find solutions to the atrocities happening in the world on a daily basis.

Whenever I see that I am designing a situation where I fail, I stop and I breathe, I realize the absurdity/unnecessarity of the situation, and the abuse that it cause to me and others as me, so I stop and instead walk in common sense.
I commit myself to walk my day commonsensically, making sure that what I do produces an outcome that is that is supportive.

Whenever I see that I am judging myself based on the past situations where I failed, I stop and I breathe. I realize that the past is gone, that I created those situations where I failed, and that I have to take responsibility and investigate applying the tools of writing, self forgiveness and practical application to the point where it does not affect me anymore. I commit myself to investigate the failures in my past so that I can stop it from conditioning my future.

To be continued in the next blog.

Day 64: Commitment to Self

Commiting myself to do something that I am able to do I have done many times - for example assisting classes at school, paying for something in fractions, etc. Yet when it comes to self-assistance, self-help there is where I fail - and it is simple steps like writing a blog daily or studying for DIP or studying for school consistently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apply myself in consistency and commitement whenever I have to do something for others - but not do it to assist myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make up excuses to not apply miself consistently daily in what I see I can do to help myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself in not doing the tasks I know I have to do to better myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to commit myself to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate and distract myself from supporting myself with entertainment - not giving myself the opportunity to self-discovery.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself enough to support myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide and run away from facing myself in entertainments instead of seeing, realizing and understanding the inevitability that I face myself along with the consequences manifested for myself by myself - that grow bigger with not facing myself.

Whenever I see that I am 'drifting off' and not facing myself within my day, I stop and breathe. I realize that I have the opportunity to support myself and 'add one' for myself in directing myself to do the next point to support myself - so I do so.

Whenever I see that I experience apathy and/or resistance towards walking a task, I stop and breathe. I realize and that the task is not the problem, so I see within myself where does the apathy/resistance come from and direct myself to do the task.

Whenever I see that there is backchat/internal chatter coming up in my mind during my day, I stop and breathe. I say 'stop, I will not accept or allow myself to participate in this' aloud or in my mind if unable to do it out loud.

To be continued

Day 58: Let's get Real, this is not Disney

I have a kind of mug from where I drink water, and it's transparent so I had to check if it was full and yes it was, and I was glad because I was thirsty - and I had filled the mug myself previously but I wasn't sure of it. This lead me to the realization that, obviously, I am the creator of my reality. I am the provider of what I have, what I do has a direct impact on what I experience. It's like sometimes I'd like that I'd pass at school or have this or that, but WTF? if I create my reality it is delusional that I desire anything - I simply do what it takes to create that which is practical and then there it is. To create something that is practical for All, this would be to implement an Equal Money System. And for Myself first, well, the first stop/step is that I get an education, which I am currently walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get a good education and pass my exams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put myself to work to get a good education.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to pass my exams instead of putting myself to work for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put myself to work on the things I know will support myself with, such as studying, and doing DIP and DIP Lite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want a 'miracle' to save myself in making me pass exams and have a good life - out of nothing - not considering the steps required for that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a good life instead of working for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a job - instead of getting one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have Money instead of putting myself to work for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up writing - instead of seeing it is self-sabotage in self interest to not stand up for myself and change.

I commit myself to work on the solutions and stop worrying about how I feel - seeing that 'feeling' is just a veil to not see that the answer is to walk in practicality constantly here as Breath.

I commit myself to solve all my problems here in my reality by walking the Solutions that I know I have to walk so that I don't have to desire anything - to then expand into working in solving this Reality's problems.

I commit myself to stop all self-interest in desires to instead work for what is best for me in the context of what is best for all, at all times.

Day 54: Be Nice? Fuck that

Today when I arrived at class the teacher - T - did not reply to my greeting.. As a group we arrived 10 minutes late so he said that it was unacceptable. During the class I played out a reaction to this by not fully listening to what T was saying, not fully participating at times, in some way of absurd 'vengeance'. I see I it is for wanting to be liked by the teacher. 'Succeding' at having T being 'nice' to me is not a measurable practical result that adds within the equation of what is best for all, it has 'no value' in the sense that I do not get the grades based on that - but based on tests and assignments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the teacher to be nice to me in self interest to 'feel good' and feel adequate - not seeing, realizing and understanding that I don't need validation from outside myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to feel good by having the teacher talk to me when I say something - and want to 'rebel against' T when I don't get a 'positive reinforcement' from T - as in T being nice to me - proving myeslf to be an organic robot with a predictable - thus controllable - behaviour in accepting and allowing myself to base my interaction with reality based on feeling and emotion instead of taking responsibility for it and walking in common sense that which is best in every moment.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the teacher conditionally - only when T is being nice - not seeing realizing and understanding that in doing that I am completely dependent on something outside of myself to direct myself within school - unacceptable.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the teacher for my emotion of inadequacy in self interest to not take repsonsibility of my self-created reactions in self-dishonesty i.e. in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start to remove myself from the class because of not having been given attention by T - in self interest to not have to take responsibility for my experience of 'feeling bad for having been 'ignored' byT - not seeing, realizing and understanding that I had make a mistake by arriving late at class and thus have to correct it, instead of taking in personally when T corrects/adresses a problem like this one.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my behaviour at class depending on how T talks to me and acts in general - not seeing, realizing and understanding that I have to do my best at school regardless of the experience I get from my interaction with colleagues or teachers because experience is not to be trusted as I do not know how I create it in the moment I experience it.

I commit myself to whenever someone talks to me - listen to what is being said - and accordingly check within myself if there are reactions and where do I have to place myself according to what is being said.


I commit myself to remind myself that I create my experiences as reactions inside myself and that it is never about the situation or the people invovled, thus within this: I commit myself to whenever I react so something/someone - breathe through and stop all movement initiated by that reaction - to instead walk in self-movement practically.

Day 50: Weight of the Future Exams

During the day I was experiencing myself somehow uneasy. There was this exam scheduled for next week that I was not confident of because I had still not gone through the last assignments of the subject and I have judged them as difficult because it takes time and effort for me to solve them. Well, so instead of putting it more time during the day I wandered off from here to there not doing school work or other work I usually do in my day. Then at night I realize the exam is not scheduled until a week later than I thought and suddenly it's like this weight is no longer here. But it was never here! Yet I allowed myself to compromise myself in not directing myself to take on the subject, because I had judged it as difficult I was absurdly avoiding it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself by procrastinating on studying for the exam.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize 'being difficult' as an excuse to not study a subject regularly.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that as well as I can accumulate myself to be effective the day of the exam = I can accumulate unsolved material that can make it virtually impossible for me to go through effectively in time so that I can pass the exam.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate undone homework in having judged it as difficult instead of placing time for me accumulate slowly but surely for me to be able to pass the exam.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the petrification as fear of an exam that I have not practiced enough - not seeing realizing and understanding that if I study = I still can be scared yet I will be able to pass the exam.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to only move myself if I don't experience fear - not seeing, realizing and understanding that I will have to go through it if it is here, even though I know it is not real - I have to walk regardless of the experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put fear as an excuse in self interest to not have to face myself within school.

I commit myself to whenever I see that I am 'wandering off'/procrastinating during the day: Stop, write on a paper/screen the tasks I have to do and get them done one by one in distributing time amongst the tasks and remaining here as breath as I do them.

I see, realize and understand that fearing a subject and using this fear as an excuse to not apply myself within it = is not valid.

I commit myself to push myself to get my daily study work done effectively so that I make sure that I am building the structure to pass the exams and not the other way around.

Day 46: 'Good-but-Bad Student' Character. Part 5

Continuation of:
Day 45: 'Good-but-Bad Student' Character. Part 4

Day 44: 'Good-but-Bad Student' Character. Part 3

Day 43: 'Good-but-Bad Student' Character - Part 2

Day 42: 'Good-but-Bad Student' Character. Part 1

Day 41: Protecting The Self-Image in my Mind  

In reading Yogan's blog I saw how I am looking at the point of getting good grades as a reward.
This afternoon I saw how I was a bit 'down' and disappointed and in a moment I saw how it was unnecessary. Because I am walking again a course with the same name as last year -the 'same' course, I believe that I know what I will be doing and that it will be a repeating and thus boring. I don't know anything in fact and utilized my projections in my mind as an excuse to not engage effectively with studying, to participate in the mind in feeling down and without motivation - which leads to remain locked in the 'Good-but-Bad character if I don't move myself to walk the correction which is walk unconditionally my education.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get a reward for getting good grades.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disappointed because I have to walk the same point again this year that I did in the past not enough consistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the experience of disappointment in self interest to allow me to not walk the solution of studying.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remind myself that it is never about immediate results that I have to define myself - never - and instead push myself to work daily to accumulate so that I eventually become effective at my studies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will get something off my results at school - not seeing, realizing and understanding that all that I need is me - nothing outside of me is required to complete me but to self-realize myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the marks I get at school are an indicator of how well I can integrate knowledge and not who I am within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to define myself through achievements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to match up the image in my mind as self-grandeur by achieving good grades or having a lot of twitter followers not seeing realizing and understanding that the only thing that wins if I participate in such an expression is my Ego and my mind.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to walk and direct myself commonsensically instead of wanting to expand my Ego in what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to attach a positive feeling/experience to what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that because the mind generates what I feel through my acceptance and allowance and because the mind will die if I realize who I am and stop it = I will never get a good feeling from doing something that will get me to a point where I might realize who I am and stop the mind, so I will never get a good feeling by doing that wich really supports me until I stop all feeling by stopping the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to positive energy experiences and negative positive experiences instead of directing myself here as self-stability, self direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe that I am doing something different this year by trying to avoid all that reminds me that I am again walking the same point within education - not seeing / realizing / understanding that it is never about what I do but who I am within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to forget that I am walking a point that I've done several times before - to not have to take self responsibility for having manifested this point in perceiving that somehow I am evolving or moving forward - not seeing reality for what it is and then not being able to change myself in not correcting the mistakes of the past in not knowing how I created them by exploring and correcting myself as the mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to draw conclusions such as that I know how this year of studies will play out by the mere fact that I walked a course with the same name in the past - not giving myself the opportunity to live Here in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to stop the 'Good-but-Bad Student' character if I am moved again to another group within school - judging myself before I can correct myself.

I commit myself to give myself the opportunity to correct myself in walking school being Here with myself in every moment of breath and stopping myself whenever I see that I am wanting to interact from the starting point of energy and Ego of the mind to play the 'Good-but-Bad Student' character to protect my self-definitions of the mind.

I commit myself to walk unconditionally breath by breath the correction of the 'Good-but-Bad Student' character in knowing that from the start the character has lost as it is gone at death - but that I am also gone at death - so I might as well walk it through and transcend it while I am here breathing.

I commit myself to walk myself in patience like a mother with a child through their development - step by step in patience and starting anew day by day, relentlessly - as it is required for something of worth to be manifested.

I commit myself to whenever I see I am going into the emotion of 'feeling low' or apathy and unmotivation - I breathe and see that I will never see what I am capable of if I give up - and that I don't have to participate in this unmotivation as all the motivation I need is to make the decision to walk the solution of whatever it is that I am unmotivated to do/unmotivated about.

I see, realize and understand that I can't never be unmotivated by anything and that in fact I accept and allow myself to be or not to be motivated - as I don't need any external thing to be in any certain expression or way in order for me to be motivated as I am self-motivated and I decide that by myself always.

I commit myself to whenever I see that I am going into the desire of getting very good grades - to stop, breathe and see that I am wanting to get a positive energy experience that is not real - so I instead stick to my breath and to do what's practically here, in reality.

I commit myself to whenever I want to give up remind myself that I am at the point of change and that I can never give up because sooner or later I have to face myself so best to do it in the moment and not procrastinate as that always create consequence.

Whenever I see I am judging what I do as boring or that I know what I will be doing - I stop, breathe and remind myself that I am looking through the eyes of the mind, not my physical eyes, because what was in the past is no longer here - thus I stop the delusion of the 'past being present' and walk within this physical reality to explore myself within education and elsewhere.

To be Continued