Day 104: The Old Self Must Go

To 'Burn my old self' - As it is Not Real in the first place.

My 'old self' are all the patterns/behaviours that I participate in that do not take into consideration me as a responsible human being nor take into consideration all other life. I've seen how, I have kept repeating the same mistakes/behaviours that are not assisting or allowing myself to expand myself in my responsibility to care for all life - including myself in the first place. It takes a process of 7 to 14 years to de-construct the old self - which is why I am writing this blog as a proof and written record of what I am doing that can also assist others in their respective Journey to Life because essentially we are all the same - yet with different points that we are walking/ in different life experiences on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless I stop and change myself, I will continue to live and do as my old self/ as I did in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for who I have become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on stopping my old self with the tools at my disposition by judging it as 'too much'. Within this - I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that because I have created and accepted and allowed myself to become who I am at the moment = I can also take it apart, delete the old self and build up myself again in self-integrity.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the common sense that unless I stop myself in every moment = I am allowing my old self to continue.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate what/who I have become - in fear of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that unless I investigate who/what I have become = I am powerless to change me.

Whenever I see that I am about to participate/am participating in patterns of my old self and not direct myself effectively in common sense, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have to stop myself in every moment because my old self will not simply go away by itself, I have to stop it because I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in it until now.

Whenever I see that I am judging myself/judging 'my old self' - I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is not to take it personally but to understand, forgive, and let go of the points. I realize that what/who I have become won't be pretty/a nice thing to witness - yet dealing with it and stopping it is the best thing to do because after I am done with it - it will no longer exist - and life can be born from the physical.

I commit myself to put it my all into walking my process of change.

I commit myself to apply myself in doing all the neccessary actions to stop my old self within the realization that 'I remain' and only what is not real can ever go away/disappear.

I commit myself to continue walking until my old self no longer exists.


To be continued in the next post

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Day 102: Self Awareness and Correcting Myself

One of my fears when deciding to stand up for myself has been the fear of giving up along the way, of not continue to apply myself effectively - in a way, wanting to control the outcome by having the certainty that I will suceed or else I will not start. One thing that I have seen is that I am aware when 'things get out of control' this is, when I am not directing myself effectively - and so within that I have the opportunity to take action. Another thing I have seen is that I also have the opportunity to do again when I don't get things right the first time - For example, yesterday I was until late writing the blog but I did not come up with a relevant blog at first, meaning it was taking me time to write it and I allowed myself to go to sleep without finishing it - thus not effectively walking the point of one blog a day -- however, here I am in the morning after waking up writing a blog, giving myself the opportunity to stand.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the key is self-honesty, meaning that because of the fact that I am aware of when I can do more - of when I am not doing enough = I can correct myself. Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that 'giving up' is not something that 'happens to me' but a very badly informed decision - and I can instead decide to stand up for myself no matter what because I see what is giving up and what is not in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will give up myself somewhere along the line of my process.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted allowed myself to trust myself enough to walk my process unconditionally in self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control the outcome of my process by wanting to know how will unfold, without realizing that it is not pre-programmed and that I have to walk it unconditionally regardless.

Whenever I see that I am not doing enough/not directing myself effectively in my day to day walking, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have the opportunity to make a difference for myself once that I am aware of the problem in my application, thus I commit myself to act wherever I see I am not applying myself effectively and to 'leave no stone unturned'in my investigation and correction of the issues with the tools of self honesty, self forgiveness and practical application until I have it done and I am effective in my walking.

I commit myself to direct myself in every moment in what I do - to act where I see in self honesty I am able to do more for myself.

To continue in the next post

Picture Art by Andrew Gable