Day 142: Act Now

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for something to act, as in poverty or riches

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that waiting is waiting and there is no excuse for it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the simplicity of everyone being supported to have their best life possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not act in every moment in a way that is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I act and we act nothing will be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless we do something nothing will be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the system that is running will continue to run until annihilation of all possible life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am not alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that we can unite to get change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that waiting is the root cause of change NOT happening

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, that the fact that I have a job doesn’t make me protected from an uncertain future, as many have at the present moment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that unless I stand as an example of what is possible many will not be able to stand up because of it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that many will not be able to stand up if I fail to stand up in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am one, yet everyone finds themselves at the same position, being one, so it is only natural that if I stand up many other ones will do the same

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can do so much that I yet don’t know because I have not put myself to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my creative potential because I have not yet put myself to do all that I can for equality

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am capable of so much more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to act whenever I see I can act, without postponing or waiting

Day 140: Sacrifice = Investment

Sacrifice is in reality an investment. Giving up something for something better. We should all consider investing in Equality for All, as it has the best ROI (return on investment) possible, ever, for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that sacrifice is needed in order to obtain anything of value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sacrifice believing that I will not get anything in return if I do sacrifice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make sure I get something in return BEFORE I make the sacrifice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that sacrifices have to be unconditional for them to work.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the fact that a sacrifice is unconditional is because results are never guaranteed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want guaranteed results.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that nothing in this life is guaranteed, except death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I understand how sacrifice works = I will not see that it is in fact a simple investment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to decide to invest in Life and Equality for all - and Equal Rights

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and undertand that the best investment there is = is Equality for All

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that sacrifice is another word for investment, they are interchangeable words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my investment for Equality will not have returns - instead of investing unconditionally - as I see it is the only possible way.

Day 104: The Old Self Must Go

To 'Burn my old self' - As it is Not Real in the first place.

My 'old self' are all the patterns/behaviours that I participate in that do not take into consideration me as a responsible human being nor take into consideration all other life. I've seen how, I have kept repeating the same mistakes/behaviours that are not assisting or allowing myself to expand myself in my responsibility to care for all life - including myself in the first place. It takes a process of 7 to 14 years to de-construct the old self - which is why I am writing this blog as a proof and written record of what I am doing that can also assist others in their respective Journey to Life because essentially we are all the same - yet with different points that we are walking/ in different life experiences on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless I stop and change myself, I will continue to live and do as my old self/ as I did in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for who I have become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on stopping my old self with the tools at my disposition by judging it as 'too much'. Within this - I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that because I have created and accepted and allowed myself to become who I am at the moment = I can also take it apart, delete the old self and build up myself again in self-integrity.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the common sense that unless I stop myself in every moment = I am allowing my old self to continue.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate what/who I have become - in fear of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that unless I investigate who/what I have become = I am powerless to change me.

Whenever I see that I am about to participate/am participating in patterns of my old self and not direct myself effectively in common sense, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have to stop myself in every moment because my old self will not simply go away by itself, I have to stop it because I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in it until now.

Whenever I see that I am judging myself/judging 'my old self' - I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is not to take it personally but to understand, forgive, and let go of the points. I realize that what/who I have become won't be pretty/a nice thing to witness - yet dealing with it and stopping it is the best thing to do because after I am done with it - it will no longer exist - and life can be born from the physical.

I commit myself to put it my all into walking my process of change.

I commit myself to apply myself in doing all the neccessary actions to stop my old self within the realization that 'I remain' and only what is not real can ever go away/disappear.

I commit myself to continue walking until my old self no longer exists.


To be continued in the next post

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Day 102: Self Awareness and Correcting Myself

One of my fears when deciding to stand up for myself has been the fear of giving up along the way, of not continue to apply myself effectively - in a way, wanting to control the outcome by having the certainty that I will suceed or else I will not start. One thing that I have seen is that I am aware when 'things get out of control' this is, when I am not directing myself effectively - and so within that I have the opportunity to take action. Another thing I have seen is that I also have the opportunity to do again when I don't get things right the first time - For example, yesterday I was until late writing the blog but I did not come up with a relevant blog at first, meaning it was taking me time to write it and I allowed myself to go to sleep without finishing it - thus not effectively walking the point of one blog a day -- however, here I am in the morning after waking up writing a blog, giving myself the opportunity to stand.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the key is self-honesty, meaning that because of the fact that I am aware of when I can do more - of when I am not doing enough = I can correct myself. Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that 'giving up' is not something that 'happens to me' but a very badly informed decision - and I can instead decide to stand up for myself no matter what because I see what is giving up and what is not in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will give up myself somewhere along the line of my process.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted allowed myself to trust myself enough to walk my process unconditionally in self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control the outcome of my process by wanting to know how will unfold, without realizing that it is not pre-programmed and that I have to walk it unconditionally regardless.

Whenever I see that I am not doing enough/not directing myself effectively in my day to day walking, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have the opportunity to make a difference for myself once that I am aware of the problem in my application, thus I commit myself to act wherever I see I am not applying myself effectively and to 'leave no stone unturned'in my investigation and correction of the issues with the tools of self honesty, self forgiveness and practical application until I have it done and I am effective in my walking.

I commit myself to direct myself in every moment in what I do - to act where I see in self honesty I am able to do more for myself.

To continue in the next post

Picture Art by Andrew Gable

Day 101: Do or Die

It has been a long time since I wrote a blog. I made excuses in my mind such as having to come up with a specific blog that I have to write since a long time ago, and basically because I was not writing that blog I was not posting anything else.

It is the same with missing class with a private tutor that I attend, because I did not want to show up without having done a task we started, and when I finally decide to go regardless of not having this task done and simply attending with the intention to do the task there, it turns out that we do another thing. So I will still have time to do the other task by myself.

So, excuses are lame and that is that. You either take responsibility for you - and me for me - or you don't. And that is something I can live in every moment of breath, with taking practical decisions.

Another example is the task of walking my lesson of the DIP course, where I avoided it completely and today put myself to it and to my surprise, I enjoyed reading the lesson - and I've seen for myself once more that not applying myself is accepting and allowing myself to live and continue living in utmost limitation and fear - that is unnecessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize excuses to not have to take responsibility for myself in writting blogs and with studiyng and other tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life without giving myself direction as self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by not applying myself as self-responsibility in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to the excuses that I make up in my mind to not direct myself - without realizing that I then pay with the wasting away of my life/time on earth and other consequences that manifest with me not taking responsibility for myself.

Whenever I see that I come up with an excuse in my mind to not walk/do a task, I stop and I breathe, I realize the inevitable that I take responsibility for myself and therefore I stop the thought and continue with doing the task.

I commit myself to me and disregard all distractions/excuses and instead walk my responsibilities within and as steadfastness. I see/realize and understand that participating in procrastination is a time and opportunity waster.

Whenever I see that I am not appling myself as self-direction in my life, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that I have proven myself in the past that I can take responsibility for myself in walking tasks dilligently - so I put myself to work on the practical tasks of taking responsibility for me and my life.

I commit myself to give myself direction as self-responsibility in self-honesty in every moment of breath.

To continue in the next post

Day 98: Humble or Tumble

These past three days or so, I've had this sense of self of 'being good' or the best lol. Yesterday I had a check back to reality when I realised I made a very basic mistake - two mistakes, and it is because I did not check thoroughly . For example, checking how to read a new type of tool, I didn't look properly and noted a number that was lower than the real reading, or forgetting stuff outside of the fridge due to not effectively checking all the stuff I had to do - and even though I always check that the material is where it should be at the end of the work - I did not see it this time.

I heard this interview where it's said to check reality when we have believes about ourselves being magnificent - because even though we can tell to ourselves that we are good/magnificent - the physical will tell us the real story if we are self honest and look at it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'talk myself' into believing I am good/the best.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not check my belief about myself of being good/the best with the feedback I get in physical reality - and seeing within myself in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not check what I do so that I make sure that I am making things right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear asking questions for simple stuff.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be humble enough to check the basics of the tools I work with even though I may know how they work - to make sure I do it well.

Whenever I see that I consider myself as good/magnificent/special, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have to become self-honest and see what is my physical reality showing me, and walk in common sense.

I commit myself to apply myself within humbleness in not taking for granted what I do based on the idea that I know stuff.

Whenever I see that I have inner backchat of being good/the best, I stop and I breathe. I realize it is merely a belief illusion and not real, therefore I stick to breath and being in my physical body, disregarding the talk - and write it down and forgive myself when/as I can.

I commit myself to not listen to the backchat I have with me but stop it and investigate/forgive it so that I don't delude myself into something that I am not as ego trip/possession.

Whenever I see that I fear asking basic questions, I stop and I breathe. I realize that a question is nothing personal, that I have to be able to ask any question - and I realize that if asking a question is a problem, then I have a problem that I must investigate and stop of ego. Also I should ask away, as I can widen my understanding through what others share.

I commit myself to apply myself within humbleness and ask whenever I see that I have a doubt about stuff that I should already know/basic stuff .