Day 93: Missing The Stop

I was at the bus at night and it was full of people and a bit hot inside, and I thought that the stop would be one that I know but it was an assumption since I do not usually take that specific bus. I distracted myself with opening the windows and then at some point realized it was taking too long - I had missed my stop and had to wait 30 minutes more for the bus to come round his route and pass again at my stop. 

This reminds me of me not making sure that I reach my goals by putting in the necessary work and instead hope that the reality outside will match my inner reality where I can imagine how things will be -- but reality showed me otherwise, the stop wasn't the one that I imagined would be and I missed it because I hoped that I would see the signs that indicate that the bus was approaching my stop -- but because I did not know the route beforehand, we did not pass through were I thought we would so I was clueless all the time that I had missed my stop, until we were very far from it. I could have prevented this by looking out the window and/or asking. 

On a side note, that was curious - I was talking to the driver and at some point, he said that he utilizes all the senses to drive, but the one that he uses more is the vision. I should use it more.

I forgive myselfthat I have accepted and allowed myself to make assumptions in where my stop is instead of asking or being attentive to where the bus is going through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with the windows and the air inside the bus, without being aware of the route of the bus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Hope that I will see the bus stop - without putting myself to look out of the window/asking effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and and allowed myself to trust my imagination of what I thing the future will look like, instead of seeing with my eyes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain myself with the people at the bus - without keeping an eye to the stops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that I see when the bus approach my stop in the assumption that the bus would take the route that I am used to during the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to override the common sense that unless I look for my stop, I won't see it.

Whenever I see that I make assumptions in my mind about the future such as what the bus stop will be, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have to check everything I am not certain of, that assumptions are just that - assumptions -.

I commit myself to check the facts whenever I see that I make an assumption.

Whenever I see that I hope the future having a specific outcome, I stop and I breathe. I realize that hope will not make things happen, only my actions can create the outcome, and I have to make sure that I walk the necessary actions to force that outcome.  

Whenever I see that I am distracted in irrelevant things, I stop and I breathe. I realize, see and understand that I have to see where I am going, that unless I direct where I am going I will create unnecesary consequence for myself.

I commit myself to see with my physical eyes and in common sense where it is that I am going - both in terms of my movement in this physical reality and in my future.

Day 91: Delay Lame

I have seen that when I am facing a task that is done over a long period of time, like preparing for an exam, I think I have a lot of time and then I procrastinate or not work effectively -- so I am using the excuse of having a lot of time in order to allow myself to not apply myself effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself in taking the best route to complete a task effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell in thoughts and imagination whenever I face an unusually big task, instead of doing what I've proven to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I have a lot of time to do a task, then I don't have to worry about getting a task done.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to review my effectiveness at doing tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that 'somehow' things will 'work out' whenever I am facing a task that it is not due immediately -- instead of seeing that unless I put in the time and effort it will be unlikely that it I will do it effectively.

Whenever I see that I am going into imagination and thinking about how I will do a task and how it will work out, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I have to consider tasks practically and start doing what works, and then change as necessary for more effectiveness.

I commit myself to work on the basis of results, where I deliberately disregard what doesn't work and apply what does work, so that I can specify my application more every time.

Whenever I see that I am thinking about a task, trying to 'sort it out' or 'make a plan' in my head, I stop and I breathe. I realize that thinking a plan of action is not effective, as I might leave things out and not consider everything as it is, as it is easier to make up excuses in my mind.

I commit myself to whenever I see I have to plan and work out how I will be able to do a task, write it out so that I can see in front of myself everything and make sure that I don't deceive myself but that I take the most effective direction.

Whenever I see that I am not taking myself seriously within a task due to having seemingly 'a lot of time', I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is only a excuse to not put myself to work. The excuse of 'having a lot of time' is a trap so that I don't use my time effectively, in the belief that I have a lot of it.

I commit myself to disregard the fallacy thought of 'I have a lot of time' and instead organize myself effectively to use the time that I have.

Whenever I see that I am not effective in doing a task, I stop and I breathe. I realize that there is no point in not doing a task effectively and wasting time - so I breathe and push myself to work effectively.

Whenever I see that I am going into my mind as thoughts and imagination, trying to work out how to do a task without any specific planning method, I stop and I breathe - I realize that I am wasting my time when I could instead apply what I find that works and simply do the task.