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| by Andrew Gable Artist |
I was about to post a new blog entry when I saw that the last blog post was from 6 June 2014 which is more than a month ago. It is interesting how the mind works, and how the perception of self and time is not reliable at all. Let me explain. It does not feel like that much time has passed yet it has been two months. More than two months since I last wrote a blog and posted it. I am not saying that I have been writing blog posts in private and not posting them - that is not usually the case, if I have not been posting then it means that, well, I am not writing -- and this is unacceptable. It starts with one day of not writing, that then amounts to a month, two months -- it is not the first time that this has happened and it is not cool to say the least. It is interesting how self-perception is always better than our actual behaviour is in fact, -- it is like studying, I can do little things here and there and say I am studying but then if the day of the exam I don't peform well at all what does it say about my application = that it was insufficient. So it is the same with blogging, it doesn't matter what I think about anything, it is what it is, and the way to keep myself on track is to simply make sure I do my stuff and get the things done day by day. This is the topic of the blog that I wrote for today, and this was simply an epilogue to say -- I am sorry -- but not sorry for myself but simply to say that I have squandered time by not blogging and that I commit myself to from now on make sure I wrote as frequently as I can, daily if I can so that I dont get lost in self-perception self-deception.
Here the blog entry for today:
Recently I was working a summer job and I was very
effective, even getting compliments from employers and co-workers ond my
performance. Once back at home, it did not translate into being more effective
at my responsibilities. Recently I have seen that this is because at the job I
was doing, which was phyisical, doing food with my hands, selling food -- I
could not afford to be in my mind and wandering off in thoughts for example, as
it would cost me -- and did in fact cost me a cut in a finger for example. When
I am at home, then I have to apply the same rules so to speak, to not allow
myself to go into thoughts and instead apply self -discilpline in simply
getting done what is necessary to be done -- and not believe that because I am
not working at a job that I can afford to be in my mind -- because as I have seen for myself, I am
not effective if I allow myself to participate in my mind, entertain myself in
my mind, sit down, sleep too much = I have to make things happen, get things
done, and not allow thoughts, emotions and feelings to stop me - like I did at
work thus proved I can do it everywhere.
This realization came up when I was with my cat, it was on
my chest quite comfortable, and I realized that, the cat does not know what
goes on in my mind, he knows me by my physical, my physical body -- and that is
want counts, I can not feed him, play
with him or clean his bowl with my mind, all that counts I do with my body, so
I cannot afford to pay attention to my mind for most of the time in a day, it
does not matter, it matters what I do physically, the same thing that counted
when I was working, it counts how many vegetables I cut, or how much pizza I
sell -- the same with blogs, with getting anything done, it is not done in the
mind as thoughts for example, it takes physical action -- thus this is how I
can be more effective, by focusing on getting stuff done, and stopping the mind
works that I allow to render me ineffective.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
make myself convict to the con of consciousness as thoughts, feelings,
emotions by participating in them and
not doing the stuff that is required to be done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
make up excuses not to do stuff, instead of walking self honesty by doing
whatever it is I can do to the extent that I can, as then I don't need excuses any more.
Whenever I see that I am giving excuses to not do something,
I stop and I breathe. I realize that giving excuses is not valid, as I have to
see for myself wether I can do something or not practically and then there is
no choice but do what I can do practically.
I commit myself to remind myself that excuses are not valid,
and that I can do ALL that I can do, no more and no less -- thus I commit mysel
f to do ALL I can do in my Journey to Life.
I commit myself to remind myself that no matter how bad and
gloomy I see some task in my mind, it is not real, and that if I in common
sense see that I can walk a task for myself, then I am able to do it and should
do it until proven otherwise practically.
I commit myself to remind myself that feelings/emotions and
thoughts are not real, that I should not base my decisions and actions on them .
