April 14, 2012

Day 1: Nowhere to Hide

Day 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to hide from myself in sleeping more than I need in the belief that I can hide from myself and the consequence of not studying by oversleeping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge studying as difficult to not have to face it, using my past experiences of failing at my studies as an excuse to not have to correct myself and apply myself in studying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act on my fear of failing at my studies every time I postpone studying - instead of walking through my fear and pratically studying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the fear of failing my studies to control me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the opportunity to walk through the fear of failing at my studies and instead, give up trying/walking the necessary steps to be successful at my studies.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that by not studying I am sabotaging myself and perpetuating the state of failure that I find myself in.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I can't hide from myself and the consequence of not studying - and that it is up to myself to create an outcome within my studies that is best for me instead of squandering my opportunities to get an education.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that it is within facing what I fear and resist that I am able to face who and what I have become to be able to stop it and stand up for myself within my studies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face myself in walking through my fears towards studying in walking the principle of what is Best for All Life - and within this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself down in not assisting and supporting myself in being able to sustain myself effectively in the system of the world by/through getting an education that will enable myself to get a job to live effectively and self-sufficiently.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that by procrastinating on studying I am creating the very thing I fear - to fail at my studies - and that through walking through this fear = is the only way I can stop myself and change the outcome of my studies.

I realize that I cannot hide from myself, and I commit myself to stop trying to hide from myself. I stop my participation in fear of failing at school by stopping myself when the fear arise by breathing and instead of running away in fear: I move myself to effectively walk the steps necessary to be effective at my studies, and I give myself the opportunity to succeed at them.

I stand up from the fear of failing at school in the simplicity of breathing and acting, in the realization that if I don't do this I won't be able to support myself in the money system. I stand up for myself within my studies to be able to walk effectively within the principle of what's Best for All Life.

Artwork by Andrew Gable

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