April 23, 2012

Day 10: Inevitable



Day 10:

Just like death, to make a future for myself I have to go through education and thus studying is inevitable, I have been avoiding studying which means that I have been sabotaging myself. Time to stop this madness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid studying eventhough I know it is inevitable that I walk through education to prepare a stable future for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by avoding studying.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to get down to the actual movement of studying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not act in front of the realization that it is inevitable that I get an education to secure my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up to resistance and fear and not get to the task of studying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want someone so save myself insted of realizing that I will have the outcome in my life that I create and accept for myself - and that this system that I find myself in has rules that are ruthless and so I have to be ruthless as well with my studies and not waiver and fall every time I am faced with studying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to risk my standing within my studies by procrastinating studying.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that it is useless to take time for myself to study if I don't study.

Thus:

I commit myself to stop procrastinating on my studies in the realization that 'I will still have to do it later' and that in procrastinating I am risking my standing within my studies.

I commit myself to apply myself within ruthlessnes in my studies by not having compassion with self-pity, fear and self-doubt by stopping myself from participating in them, breathing and getting down to the actual work of studying.

I commit myself to direct myself to push self-discipline with my studies so that I can get effective within my studies and stop the cycle of failure.

I commit myself to stop all regret, anger and shame for not having stopped and studied in the past in the realization that it is a disctraction that again is not taking responsibility for myself.

I commit myself to stop the consequence of not having studied in the past by doing the very thing I did not do = studying.


Featured Art Work by Andrew Gable
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