October 4, 2012

Day 37: The CrossRoad of Decisions


I was at my desk at home not working on any specific task when I decided what I was going to do next of my tasks and immediately afterwards a thought of two different activities came up in my mind. In not deciding to continue with the decision of doing the task I had initially decided  to do I got 'caught up' in the mind. I should be able to again do the same decision if that was the best one - yet I allowed this two other options to entertain me and for some time I only sat there, waiting.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be tricked by the mind in not sticking to doing what is practical and more important first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by thoughts that suggest me to go to different directions instead of checking that the task I am going to do is the best option and stick to doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize the excuse of having different options/tasks to do to participate in laziness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in my mind from facing the task I decided to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mind for not directing myself instead of seeing that thoughts are not real - they do not stop me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to remain in the apparent comfort of my mind and not do the task I had decided to do/saw that I had to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of immediately taking action on doing what I decided and saw I had to do = go into my mind playing with other tasks I have to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see thoughts as a source of help and direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need thoughts to take direction and decide what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must debate in my mind what I am going to do and to rebate any new thought of other directions that I could take.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to impose the dictatorship on myself of doing what is best for All - in seeing that it is in my best interest as well.

I commit myself to immediately act on every decision that I take - thus whenever I see I have thoughts come up in my mind I stop them by saying 'Stop' and stopping them - continuing with my action in seeing that thoughts are mere distractions.

Whenever I see I am not directing myself I take the best direction in the moment and walk tasks into completion, taking into consideration what is best that I do in every moment in practicality - in the realization that thoughts are not solutions or 'help' presented to me, but distractions and deterrents from me being Here as breath directing myself.

I see and understand that I don't need thoughts to give me a solution or direction on what to do but that I can work out in common sense what it is that I have to do next.


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