March 18, 2013

Day 77: Day in Bed - Am I Dead?

Little Bunny Sleeping
Problem
Resting during the day, when I don't necessarily need to rest and not putting the necessary devices such as an alarm to not over-sleep.

Solution
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to hide from myself in sleeping during the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'talk me into' sleeping during the day in order to not face tasks/responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to rest during the day to be able to function - instead of seeing that when I sleep too much, I loose time and I am not 'really rested'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put the devices and alarms in place so that I don't oversleep whenever I rest during the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will not be able to wake up from a 'siesta' even if I put the alarm, believing that 'I will not hear it' and so don't set it up. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not set up the alarm with the excuse that I will rest for only 10 minutes - not preventing myself from oversleeping if I Do fall asleep.

Whenever I see that I am trying to 'talk myself' into going to sleep during the day by using excuses/justifications as to why I should rest, I stop and breathe. I realize that it is the mind that wants to 'disconnect' and that even if do go to sleep, it won't pay off as I will not rest well and will instead waste time - and the heaviness after waking up will still be there.

I commit myself to focus on breathing here whenever I see that I want to go to sleep during the day and instead I commit myself to push myself to walk little steps into doing the task that I want to avoid facing - as I realize it is the only way, that it is inevitable that I face myself.

I commit myself to Prevent the oversleeping during the day by setting up an alarm if I do rest for a during the day - and that I rest for no more than 40 minutes - because otherwise I am still tired/it is not as effective and I waste time.

I commit myself to, whenever I see that I experience the feeling of 'heaviness' or tiredness = see if there is something that I am trying to avoid doing or facing.

I commit myself to walk my responsibilities whenever I 'feel like' sleeping during the day - and then check again if I am 'still' tired - to find out if the tiredness was in fact a protection mechanism for the mind for me not to face myself in my responsibilities and obligations.

Whenever I see that I am physically tired, I stop and breathe. I realize that I will not always be able to rest during the day when I have responsibilities to walk.

I commit myself to remind myself thate there will be moments in where it is impossible for me to rest during the day, such as if I am taking care of a child or similar, where I will not be able to simply walk-off to bed if I am tired.

I commit myself to assist myself and my physical body by being Here as breath when walking my responsibilities within the realization that the body is capable of much more, and that I can only do/grasp this if I am not participating in my mind of excuses and justifications and backchats.

Reward
In not walking off to bed during the day and instead walking my daily tasks and obligations/responsibilities = I am standing up for myself and taking responsibility for myself - thus allowing me to take on more responsibilities and within this = expanding myself within my process.

Going off to sleep during the day for a long  time and/or without needing it = is a betrayal to myself, so with preventing this I will be reverting it into developing self-trust - and it will be a training that will lead to me slowly but surely becoming more effective in dealing with tasks/responsibilities.

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