March 20, 2013

Day 78: Well-Educated Character

"Prevention is ALWAYS the Best Cure" – Bernard Poolman

Problem
Wanting to appear/look like I am well-educated.

Solution
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately talk in ways to project an image of myself of being well-educated and smart. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value an image of myself more than my own self-expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others judging me as dumb/failure and within this try to show the opposite by showing a façade/face of being polite/well educated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being articulate and showing knowledge on many topics means that I am superior and better. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that knowledge is important/valuable without considering who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will 'loose face' and be considered inferior if I 'slip' and make mistakes in a conversation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that educated people are better than uneducated people. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strive to 'prove' that I am not uneducated by opening a 'peacock tail' of knowledge within a conversation - within the fear of being considered inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others will like me more if I am smart - and will like me less and be marginalized if I they believe I am stupid. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be liked, in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as smart and sharp, in separation of myself.

Whenever I see that I am trying to appear/look like I am well-educated and smart, I stop and breathe. I realize that knowledge without application is useless, that I am not more to KNOW something. We are all Equals as Life - there is not an animal that is more of Life than another one. Difference of humans based on knowledge is an illusion.

Reward
Not having to pretend being smart/talk in a way to be considered smart, being at ease while in the company of others, enjoying them for who they are without being busy in advertising what I know.
 
To be continued...

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