One of the traits of the 'Good-but-Bad Student' or 'motivations' is: Attention. To get attention, to be noticed -
in fear
of being ignored and isolated. And that's exactly what happened,
through my participation in this character - I have come to mostly be by
on my own - but that's nother blog. Today I saw in relation to wanting
to get attention, how I am spending too much
time daily on Twitter. I saw it immediately when I was at the train and saw the
time
there and the numbers reminded me of a user on Twitter whose name is
the same numbers LOL This is how I saw I was 'possessed' in a way with
twitter in wanting to get attention in getting a lot of followers -
basically this trait of the character of 'Good-but-Bad Student' of not
getting top-marks at school in fear that then I cannot be seen as cool
and in a way be popular in the class, i.e. getting attention.
Twitter thus I used as a Backdoor to keep participating in the
'Good-but-Bad Student' character by instead of taking responsibility for
myself in my studies by actually studying: Distract myself in something
that I perceive I get attention from - but has no real relevance,
Twitter is only a means of connecting to people but it will in no way
change me - that I can only do myself by taking responsibility for my studies and my life in general like I do
here - correcting the fuckups and standing up walking the
solutions in my reality.
I forgive myself that I have
accepted
and allowed myself to become possessed by wanting attention and instead
of me giving attention to me by directing myself to take self
responsibility by studying: Utilize Twitter in separation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself attention and utilize Twitter in the
hope that I will get a lot of followers and be noticed by people around me and in a way be
famous and popular.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be willing
to put in the time to 'be popular' and have success in getting a lot of
followers in Twitter but not having willed to put in the time to study
and help myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
abdicate myself by squandering time during my day in irrelevant tasks that are not priority.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'all
right' and conform with having popularity in getting a lot of followers
instead of
seeing
that A) I can't eat from twitter and B) The 'feel good' from having a
lot of followers/getting followers on Twitter I created myself and only
feeds the
mind and characters like 'Good-but Bad Student'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work my ass
off on Twitter to get a lot of followers daily instead of working my ass
off in assisting myself to get through my education
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave of my
mind and characters in working daily to achieve hopefully a state where everyone likes me instead of me accepting myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed the
'Good-but-Bad Student' Character by working towards creating attention
towards me - not giving myself attention - in separation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize
Twitter as a back-door to not have to walk the correction of the
'Good-but-Bad Student' in not studying enough in a day due to wasting
time in stuff like Twitter.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up
myself completely in investing my time in Twitter and other tasks
instead of using my time to walk the correction within my studies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within
participating in Twitter and other tasks and not walking studying
effectively =
judge
myself as not capable to study effectively without giving me the
opportunity to apply myself to the best of my ability in every moment.
I commit myself to give myself the opportunity to explore and expand
myself within my studies by placing all the attention I am giving to
Twitter and other no-priority tasks back to myself and my education -
using my resources as time and attention to what is best for me first -
in the context of what is Best for All.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to put
all the time I can in studying to be very successful without
seeing/realizing and understanding that this will inevitably lead to
frustration and
anger within myself when I come face to face with reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to
upgrade the character 'Good-but-Bad Student' by striving to get very
high marks at school and then getting attention for it, feeding my Ego
as characters.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the mind works in
polarity and that I can jump from a negative experience to a
positive one and I am still feeding the mind within my participation in Energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to feel
good when I study - otherwise I feel bad and want to run away and do
stuff like Twitter to feel good.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get
'my fix' of energy by getting very high marks at school - without
seeing/realizing/understanding that this is merely a jump from
'negative' to 'positive' experience where I keep enslaved in my mind and
that most probably BEFORE I reach such a position I will have long
given up because I will have ran out of Energy long before I can fill up
again in getting high marks because it takes time - thus
I see, realize and understand that participating in the mind as the
characters like 'Good-but-Bad Student' will not in any way help me
studying because if it were true I would not find myself in the position
that I am in of constant failure - thus I commit myself to whenever I
see I am running projections of the
future in my mind like wanting to be
famous on Twitter or at School = I stop,
breathe
and direct myself to stick to practicality on reality Here, directing
what it is that I have to do to become effective in the Real World, that
is here that I can touch and not in my mind where I Loose (Illus-ion)
I commit myself to whenever I see that I am not Here directing myself
Practically in every moment of breath in doing a task that will
accumulate in a result that is best for Me in the context of what is
Best for All = I stop, breathe and see that I am again wanting to serve
the god of the Mind as characters - so I take the attention back to me
in walking the tasks that assist and support me practically until I no
more give my attention to false gods.
I commit myself to whenever I see that I am going in my mind of projections of fame, attention and
acceptance within my environment I stop, breathe and move myself to
love me in doing that which is best to assist and support myself to live effectively.
I commit myself to walk within my education unconditionally in not
giving up within the realization that if I give up or slack-off within
myself and my education: I will have to live with that.
I commit myself to see/realize and understand that I am not playing a
game when I decide to not support myself - it is self-abuse, it is
giving up self-responsibility and it is unacceptable to not stand up for
myself when I have all the support available.
I commit myself to see/realize and understand that I am being measured
by what I do with the breaths that I've been given - not
seeing/realizing and understanding that doing anything less than
assisting myself to be able to support All Life effectively is the most
honorable thing me or anyone on Earth can do - and that the time for
doing that is limited and every action is consequential.
I commit myself to whenever I see I am going into fear, frustration,
impatience, excuses in my mind, justifications and any other
mind-movement = stop, breathe and remind myself that I can for a moment
breathe here and continue in my application effectively.
