Day 154: I Am Here

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live with the autopilot not realizing I Am Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this ‘being here’ has always and will always be 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don’t have to be ‘the best’ meaning giving the best conversation or other superlative, but simply be me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is fine being silent instead of wanting to be ‘more’ and ‘the best’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have an effect with my words instead of sharing myself unconditionally or having lighthearted talk

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too serious

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my words will have a grandiose outcome instead of simply sharing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is best to be silent than to rant and rave

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the problem is thinking about the self - without the self there is no problem

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a powerful grandiose self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see I don’t have to ‘save the world’ - and it is impossible too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take this burden upon myself of wanting to save the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose to me the burden of guiding or saving others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am a savior instead of seeing I can only ever be an example

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can become an example, and that’s it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my own living will be the living example that I want others to have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be an example unto myself - for myself and others

Day 153: Fame Made Me Stupid

 I don't know if famous people feel it or notice it but the day I did a stand-up at a bar that went well, that night my friend beat me at chess a bunch of times, I was definetly distracted and could understand how famous people go weird some times.

When there is equality there are no special ones because everyone is special.

I am one, you are one, 1+1=2, not 1+1=0.75 or 2.5. So you can work out for yourself equals - that doesn't mean the same.

The most radical of all, the equality equation. And lets end Hollywood 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be famous

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand up for myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how shitty some people have it 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change whenever I perceive I have many eyes on me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see,  realise and understand it is not about how many people 'follow/listen' to me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear rejection 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be noticed

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to plan my life in my head instead of being grateful of what life offers me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use fear as an excuse to not perfect myself in self honesty

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe I should get the attention of peers

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to link being liked to survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tie self worth to the attention I get 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link attention to money 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to be rich 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I am not rich is because I am not ready

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it takes action to be rich/wealthy

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself instead of supporting myself

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not walk the talk

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace my situation fully, no matter how difficult it gets

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself with backdoors to my plan

I commit myself to close all backdoors to my plan 

I commit myself to either change the plan or stick to it unconditionally - no backdoors

I commit myself to be self-honest 

I commit myself to value what I have instead of resisting my situation 

I commit myself to be open to whatever happens 

I commit myself to embrace myself fully no matter where I am or what happens

I commit myself to embrace every situation as an opportunity

I commit myself to disregard fame and be true to myself at all times always 

I commit myself to be self-honest no matter how much money I have 

I commit myself to support myself to be aware in every situation 

I commit myself to watch my mind and direct myself to correct it effectively in every breath

Day 152: For Better or Worse

I have a small tattoo of a triangle in my left arm, its connecting three freckles. My friend that did it said it means that 'always in life you can choose for better or worse'

Indeed in life we have to choose what to do and the only recommendation is to choose what is best for You within what is best for All.

My tattoo triangle is a 'Right triangle', if you look from the base, there are two options, either one line up - at a 90° angle- or only a point -you are stuck-.

So lets decide the best for us an everyone else, and correct ourselves without fuss if we choose unwisely some time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see,  realize and understand that I am free to choose what is Best for All every time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that being able to choose what is Best for All every time is true freedom

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't need consequence to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can make it easier for me by not choosing consequence paths and instead choosing what's Best 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that there will always be consequence, so it's best to create the best consequence every time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myseld to not see the simplicity of choosing what is Best, even if it's difficult- at some point it will be natural 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not choose what is best

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myseld to avoid things I perceive as difficult instead of seeing that they will get easier in time 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that, like studies, its difficult until you master something 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from taking the decisions that are Best

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don't have to be a genius to choose whatever is Best for All 

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see that even a small decision of not sleeping in but studying a little bit is choosing what's Best 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am alone and that my choices don't matter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am part of the whole and if I support myself I support the whole and vice versa 

I commit myself to support myself and thus All in my choices

I commit myself to remind myself to make decisions that are Best for All,  and thus best for me too

I commit myself to remind myself difficult is not  forever, and if it is - so be it

I commit myself to remind myself that easy and not best is the path to hell - and vice versa